Whirlwind!

I blinked and somehow 3 months has gone by since I've come here to post. I guess sometimes it just doesn't feel like I have much to say...but a lot has definitely happened in the last 3 months. We got all moved out of our house and I happily (or not, haven't decided yet) put my things in storage and moved into my Grandma's house for the summer. I then finished up my job with the School District and made my way down to Redding, California for Bethel Church's Worship U on Campus 2 week school. Which was absolutely amazing. There are no other words to describe what happened while I was there. I met so many people from all over the world that had the same passion, vision, and were so like-minded with me. I really left there with my heart going in a million different places and countries..And even now..I miss those people...I want to stay in connection with them for a long time :)

So before I left Redding, I ended up getting an interview scheduled with a place that I had applied for before I had gone down. :) So I left Redding knowing I was coming back in two weeks for high hopes of getting a job..

I made it back to the Tri-Cities just in time for CreationFest. 3.5 days of Christian concerts, booths, speakers, and sun....and rain...and thunder and lightning..I'm so excited for this to be in my hometown. I've traveled several years to go to this festival and to be able to go hang out there but still sleep in my own bed at night? Highly appealing :) And considering I had bought my ticket in December before I knew who was going to be there and before I realized that I was going to move to California? I mean bonus. I actually ended up spending a lot of time working at the booth that my church was sponsoring..so it was a great time.

Then I had a nice little going away party, got a tattoo, and packed up my car and left Washington..Yeah...I got a tattoo. See it's really my mom's fault. Back that up. It's my cousin's sons fault. He got a tattoo in memorial of my grandpa. Which totally inspired my Mom in her 50's to finally get a tattoo. I mean we've all talked about getting one, but all kind of chickened out when it came to actually getting one. But once she realized that I was really leaving for California, she texted me while I was in Redding and declared that before I came back, we were all getting a tattoo. Haha..the funny thing was this was right after I had gone with two of my roommates and another friend and held the hand of one of them getting a tattoo while we were in Redding, and I was having serious thoughts on whether I actually wanted to get one or not. Well you know...you generally end up doing what your Mama says ;0). And the day that I left the Tri-Cities I spent 5 hours in the tattoo shop while my Mom, sister and I all got the tattoos we'd come up with to get. I mean mine wasn't hard. I've had a necklace for years that I bought with the intention of getting a tattoo of it. I mean when you open a catalog and gasp because the necklace you are looking at was the picture you had in your head for a tattoo..well you buy the necklace and wait for the day :) Which ended up being two weeks ago...

Anyways!! I found out that my friend and I could tetris pack my car and I left for California. With no job, no real place to live, no money, and a whole lot of faith that God was going to take care of me! And trying to not worry over everything was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I knew that I was supposed to be in Redding. I just didn't know how it was going to happen. I had a job interview, and was looking at a place that I could live at temporarily. But what if that didn't work out? What was I going to do? Well all I know is God didn't bring me down here to abandon me. Not at all. I got here on Friday night and stayed the night at a friend's house. Saturday I came to look at a house of a friend of a friend. I came in not knowing if I was actually staying there and she basically was telling me this was my room and where I could put my things. By the end of walking around the house I got a key and began unpacking my car. Yes it's temporary. I'm housesitting until she returns permanently. Yes I will most likely be moving out in a few months after my job starts and I get settled a little bit..but for now I feel like Cinderella in a beautiful castle. And I'm gonna rest in the goodness and abundance of God.

I went to my job interview the following Monday and had an ok interview. I mean I never know how to judge them. Sometimes I don't know if I express and portray myself accurately.  I walked away a little nervous after being given a response of "Well if you haven't heard back from us in a week, give us a call and ask what the status is" A WEEK!?! I had to wait a whole week to find out. Let me tell you that right there is a humongous test of faith. I began to internally freak out every day that I hadn't heard from them. But then really try to rest and just trust God. Oh and by rest I mean literally. I got there on Saturday and by Monday afternoon I could hardly walk. My lower back was in intense pain that I couldn't do anything beyond go to the freezer for the ice pack and ice my back and walk around the house trying to loosen it up. I don't know for sure what the issue was, but once I removed the lovely memory foam mattress pad off of my bed my back began to feel almost instantly better. Sad to think that it hurts me more than helps me..but at least I know what the cause was...I'm feeling much better now..

But still trying not to freak out about whether I was getting the job or not. Whether I needed to start looking for another job or not. I mean I had claimed this job long before I got here. This was my job and I didn't have another choice or option. Nothing like putting all your eggs in one basket. I didn't feel like I was supposed to look for another job and every time I tried to look on craigslist I just got full of anxiety and couldn't handle it. Meanwhile at Friday night church I got an incredible word from a person at church which had absolutely nothing to do with what I stood up for prayer for. But God knew what I needed. I needed a faith building and confirming word. And the same thing again on Sunday. I stood up for prayer and got a word that really didn't have to do with what I stood up for..but what was confirmed was I was here in Redding, and God brought me here. He opened up a door that no man can shut and that HE IS going to provide for me. In every aspect of my life..not just a job, but a job, clothing, food, place to live. ALL of it. He knows my need and he has me.

So Monday comes and I call back to inquire about the job. And no one answers the phone. 3 times. I finally get a person the 4th time and leave a message. And didn't hear back the rest of the day. So I wait. again. Tuesday morning I received a text telling me they were doing a background check and that he would get a hold of me later that day or Wednesday with shifts that might work for me. Within minutes of that all of my references began calling or texting me saying they had gotten a hold of them to ask about me. And yet I wait..again..Wednesday I received another text. An offer of two shifts. Of 42 hours a week. A 24 hour shift and an 18 hour shift. With only one thing potentially stopping me. See the 24 hour shift goes from Saturday night to Sunday night. And I moved down here so I could go to Bethel. I wrestled with it for about an hour. Can I take the law out of going to church out of my mind...and be ok with going to church only on Friday nights..and have that service become the only time I made it to a church service that week? I mean we don't live in a culture any more that shuts down for Sundays...I just had to get over the fact that yes I could in fact not go to church on Sunday and that Jesus would still love me for that. That Friday night services are in fact amazing and it's going to be awesome to make that my service. And right now this is new season..And if it involves not going to church on a Sunday than that's what I'm going to do. To not put God in a box and serve him in new ways that I might have never thought about doing before.

So I texted back and accepted the offer. And I went in today for paperwork to get a TB test and fingerprints done, and next week I will start training for my new position at Compass. And working one on one with some developmentally disabled adults, with a company that I am sooo super excited to be working for. They have some amazing values and a heart to serve people. I can't wait to see where this Journey is now going to take me.

I waited on the Lord. And he worked out all the details for me. I have a place to live, and an upcoming job. Now it's not like I stop here and stop trusting. Haha..oh no...this walk of faith is just starting..I'm sure I will have all new ways to trust and walk out with him...this is really only the beginning :)

Internet free

Well, sadly my blogging every day this month goal is going to have to come to an end. Not that I missed a couple days earlier..but there are only a couple days left. However tomorrow morning the internet is getting packed up and moved to the other house...where I am not moving to! So for the next couple of weeks unless I go hang out at that house..I will be internet free! I'm kind of using it as taking a break from the internet. Not that I won't have it on my phone but I'm going to have to watch my data for a while..so until I get to a spot where I have wifi, I won't be on much..

Not that I don't have cd's to burn, or to finish packing, or to finish working, or to sleep, or to drink coffee...or maybe even shock of all shocks...read a book. I'm sure I will find something to do that does not require the internet or a tv..since I shall have neither for the next two weeks.

What to do, what to do? ;0)

Ready for summer

I am so ready for summer break...It's bittersweet because it's really my last summer break. I'm pretty sure that I won't be having a job where I get summers off once I get to California so I'm going to enjoy this one for sure..especially since I will be in California for most of it!

My preschoolers get out of school one week from tomorrow! We only have 5 school days left with them, so we are definitely feeling the end. Tomorrow they are going to start going around and checking out all the kindergarten and music and art rooms and those kinds of things...so it's gonna go by fast.

I ended up taking Thursday off so I can get more stuff moved over to the house before the moving people come to take the big stuff...it's feeling more final. I really am only going to live with my family for two more nights..then they are going to that house and I am staying here until I put the rest of my stuff into storage and go hang out somewhere for a couple of weeks before I go to Redding for July. I'm going to be there for a good 3 weeks this summer, starting on the 4th of July..so it's going to be all new and exciting..

And of course my elbow starts hurting again today. Must be rebelling from all the moving I did this weekend...little does it know I still have several more weeks of moving :( So I really don't have time for it to hurt.

But I'm off to see about paying my tuition for Worship U and going to bed...trying to keep a routine and not be "burning the midnight oil" here..all that's going to do is make me sick. And ain't nobody got time for that!

The Outcome

Needless to say I am one tired girl..

At least 10 trips later we got some stuff moved to the new house. We pretty much succeeded in getting most of what was in the garage to the new house. I would have liked to have gotten more..But because there really isn't anywhere set up in the new house to put everything, we just would have been lining walls and we really need to wait until all the furniture is at the new house.

Which is happening THURSDAY!

We had gotten a bid from a moving company that ended up being extremely high. And the property manager at the place they are moving into basically said he would do it for half the price of the other place..well no brainer..my Mom decided to go with them. Why they are coming on Thursday I have no idea...but it just means we have less time to try to get most everything ready. You would think with as many times as I have already gone over there with a full car that we would have most everything over there..but no. LOL. It's going to be at least 1 full big Uhaul if not two. And that's with NONE of my stuff going over there! Well ok. Some of it will end up there because there is just some stuff I don't want going into a hot storage unit. So there will be some stuff there waiting for me to to go to California..but yeah..

I have a lot I could say right now, but I'm going to save it...I'm beat after moving most of the weekend and am going to go to bed early!

moving day 1..

I don't like moving. At all. It's very stressful and frustrating. And that's all I'm really going to say about that. I took 3 loads to the house today and then took a load to the recycling. And I went up and downstairs probably close to 50 times. My knee is not my friend :( And I'm sure I got a good workout in today! Needless to say I took a well deserved bath with some epsom salt tonight...and the great news is I get to do it all again tomorrow!

Well minus recycling.

At least we will get a break and go to a surprise birthday party at 4...

But we have people coming to look at the house we are currently in to see if they want to rent it. I'm really not fond of the way my landlord is doing this and I wish I had gotten more of my stuff to my storage unit...but that's the way it goes. I would have preferred people to come look at an empty house and not with all our stuff in it. She doesn't have a property manager here and she lives in California..so she is just having people come and I think we are supposed to show them. I'm really not a fan. So instead of moving most of the day we are going to end up cleaning the house so it looks presentable for people to come look at it. Do you know how hard it is to move and keep the house clean? Just about impossible.

And I'm off to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow!

Lolfty goal..

We have a goal for this weekend. To get the garage emptied out so if we go with these mover guys, that came to give us an estimate this weekend, can get all the furniture moved over for us. They are working on an estimate for us and I should know soon whether or not we are going to do it. So needless to say this weekend is going to be a lot of pack up, take over, unpack, and come back and repeat. And since we don't have school tomorrow, since we didn't take any of our snow days this winter...yeah..I complained bitterly about the one 2 hour delay that should have been a snow day..but I'm pretty excited that I get a 4 day weekend here this weekend. So. At any rate, I will be super busy this weekend instead of relaxing like most of the rest of the world. Cause goodness knows ;) We couldn't be able to relax on a long weekend now would we?

I don't know how much time I will have to post over the weekend...so I might break my goal of posting every day this month...Well I guess I did that on Day 2, BUT I haven't missed a day since ;)

almost there!

210.00...

that's all I need to reach my goal for my trip to Redding this summer. I got another 25.00 today! woo-hoo!!

I finally posted some of the pictures I have been painting on Facebook to see if anyone was interested in buying them. And of course my favorite one is the first one to sell. :) I really debated selling it or not. But one of my good friends messaged me about it..so there it goes...oh the life of an artist :) You just can't keep them all!

It's going to be a busy weekend for us. We are going to be moving the things from the garage over to the new house. Hopefully it will go quick. Especially if all 3 of us are using the cars...we will see how it goes. But it will be a good start to seeing how much is going to fit over there and where things are going to have to go. We are going to have to store some of the landlords stuff because we have a washer and dryer that we like and a microwave too..so it all works.

I keep talking like I'm moving in there...but I'm not! haha..I mean I might stay for a couple of weeks..but that's it..Nothing more than couch surfing for me.

But tomorrow I need to start getting the house a little cleaner since people are probably going to be coming and looking at it this weekend. So I most likely be taking some of my stuff to the storage unit again and moving some yard sale stuff around. Oh boy...it's going to be crazy.

I keep thinking I will make it to bed early...then I keep not...so I'm going to bed!

What's a clean house?!?

I'm not sure I'll ever know? haha.

At any rate, My mom and sister had the new house cleaned today. I guess the owners left in a hurry cause it was not really move in ready. I mean we probably could have managed...but really the only thing we would have to do now is clean the windows. Although I felt bad for the people who cleaned it. She really only thought it would take 3 1/2 hours to clean an empty house..but this house has so many nooks and crannys it ending up taking them almost double the time! They got there at 9 this morning and didn't leave til almost 3:30. But now we can start the daily trecking of things over to the house for them. But I did convince them to get an estimate on having a moving company come and move our big stuff for us. Like furniture and washer and dryer and freezer. I think everything else we can manage with boxes in the car...but it would be nice to have the big stuff have help with...

Which I have decided after all not to do a yard sale...first it got appealing and now it's just not appealing. I have yard sales that I can donate my stuff to that's worth it and the rest is just not. So I'm not even gonna try..it's just one less thing that I have to do before I go, and I can get rid of things and not try to deal with it. It really kind of made an instant stress relief. I just don't even want to go there...

It's funny how quickly we can change our minds LOL. Especially when it involves time. I would rather spend my time doing a bake sale than doing a yard sale. But that's just the way I am :)

Alarming...

Well when my alarm went of this morning my first thought was why is my alarm going off so early on a Saturday!?! Then it hit me..it's Monday and I have to go to work! Man oh Man. But I really only have to work two more Monday's until my summer break. So I guess that's not too horrible. Next Monday is a Holiday and the day before school gets out I am talking off because of time I've earned throughout the school year. But you know it's a short weekend when on my first day of the week I think it's Saturday.

And tonight I did absolutely no packing at all. I cleaned up in the kitchen, took a bath, drank some root beer, and worked on a project of something I am making for my co-workers. So just in case they come and read this I'm not going to say what it is yet..but it's extremely cute!!

But this week I am going to make every effort to make it to bed at a decent time. And since it's after 10 I better get a move on it...

get it?

a move on it?

I crack myself up :)

Was that supposed to be a weekend?

Oh boy...I'm totally going to regret this bedtime when it's time to wake up for work tomorrow..but oh well..I've been dong it all weekend!

We spent the weekend packing. Well minus getting my haircut and going to church ;) I am pretty close to being mostly packed. I have one more actual box to pack and then I think everything else is going in a suitcase. I'm pretty much down to only having clothes and toiletries and linens unpacked. Well shoes too. ;) But I'm not planning on buying any more boxes. I don't think I will be needing them. I think I can fit whatever else I have into my variety of suitcases or if all else fails a garbage bag. I am certainly not opposed to that. I think now that I'm mostly done I am not feeling so anxious about the move. I at least have a good idea of how much stuff I have. I have a few small tubs that I didn't end up putting in boxes..It seems kind of silly to do that to me..and since they are small they could fit in a smaller spot if I needed them too. I guess I have a couple pictures that didn't fit into the box either..but I will make sure they are bubble wrapped well and take them that way....I'm not really going to buy an extra large box for 3 pictures.

 I think I'm going to end up with 12 boxes..of stuff that I packed here. Now let me just mention here that these are 10 small boxes, 1 medium, and 1 large. So that's gotta count for something right? But I still don't remember how many boxes and tubs I have in our current storage unit that I need to move over to mine. I want to say I have close to 8. But 3 of them are Christmas tubs that I'm going to go through and weed out. I'm interested to see all of my stuff in one area. I know there are a couple of things I won't be putting in the storage. I don't want the keyboard or guitar staying in there, so they are going to stay at my mom's house.

And we actually got a lot of the rest of the house packed up as well...it just doesn't even look like we made a dent! :/ But after Tuesday we are going to start hauling things over. I swore I wasn't going to move like this again. I hate the idea of it taking the next 4 weeks to move! But we have someone is actually going to clean both houses..the one they are moving into and the one we are moving out of! All for $400! Sounded great to us not to have to clean either house so we went with it! The only thing we will really have to clean is the windows..and that doesn't take too long at all.

The great thing right now is that I can actually walk around in my room..that wasn't possible on Friday..so I'd say I made progress this weekend!

15 more days of work! The end is rapidly approaching!

I think I overestimated a tiiiiiny bit...

Well. I now have 9 boxes packed...I really was hoping I was only going to need about 10 boxes total. I guess I failed on that one..And I will be taking more than I thought.

Or I might just have more stuff than I thought ;)

Either way, I'm not done packing....at all...

And being the dork that I am...I am trying to keep everything together that needs to be there. Like all the books, or all the Christmas stuff..I thought I had all my pictures in one box and thew some light stuff on top and taped it up only to turn around and find more pictures...I keep finding things that I wanted in a certain box and then I forget them. Oh well. Haha..Life must go on. Oh and me and the bubble wrap are friends. I wrapped ALL of my pictures in bubble wrap this time. Last time we moved I did not, and most of my frames ended up with dings and scratches in them :( I don't want that to happen this time. I maaay have gone a little overboard..but they are well protected.

I'm still trying to find the balance of what to take and what to leave. I really want my bookshelf but I have a feeling that I'm not going to be able to move it well or have space for it..So I might not take it. I like it because I have less dusting to do, because my things were behind a glass ;) But I also know that I will probably be moving more often in my future, and I want things that are easily portable..and that is not. So now I'm thinking I'm probably not going to take it. I might just buy some cheap bookcases and stack them once I get to Redding. Or I might even put them back on shelves in a room..I don't know.

It's hard to plan for the unknown. I don't have a job yet. I don't have a place to live yet. I don't know who I am living with. Or if it will be an unfurnished or a furnished place. Or how much space I will have to call my own. But I know it's time to go. To follow after a piece of my heart that has just been quietly waiting. Waiting for the time to say Follow me. It's time. If you had asked me in December if I was going to be moving to California in 2014 I would have told you no. I was going to stay and finish my degree first. Flash forward to the end of January and all my plans had changed. My life had changed. I had to decide whether or not I was going to in fact Go. Or stay and not listen to my heart. It's a super big change after 33 years of living in the same place to up and move to the unknown. Thankfully I have a few friends in Redding that I know..But I'm going alone. I'm not taking anyone with me and I'm not moving down there to be with anyone specific. So it's absolutely a stretch.

But I'm ready for this adventure. I think it's finally hitting me. It's my time. It's my turn. I get to be the one going instead of watching my friends go.

And I don't even have Gandalf to go with me ;)

So so close!!

Oh my gosh...tonight I'm feeling loved. I only need $235 to reach my goal for my trip to Redding this July for School of Worship. I had two more people donate today. I always feel a little weird when other students I am going with donate! But another one did to me. And she tried to be anonymous but it ended up telling me...oh well. I still can't wait to meet her!. <3

I have to pay tuition on June 1st..so I'm pretty darn close at this point. As I sit and just watch how God works sometimes it amazes me. I'm not used to being provided for like this..but I am..so I'm just kind of taking it all in currently and seeing what's going to happen. It's definitely a step of faith to get me there, and I'm just taking it day by day!

If you want to donate here is the link :)

https://www.youcaring.com/tuition-fundraiser/get-dena-to-worship-u-on-campus-/148525

I'm so so grateful for any amount anyone can help with :)

strange feeling

Today was my last four day week at the Preschool. School is officially over in 3 weeks. At least for my kiddos..The bigger kids have to go June 10th..but we are officially under a month for my brothers and the ones I watch have 9 days left. And then I am done with my work in Washington and need to find a job in California.

No big deal right?

Right.

So my Mom and sister got the keys to their new house today. And boy oh boy...it's quirky...I guess that's a nice way of putting it. The owner was a do it yourself guy. So a lot of what he did was umm..interesting :) But there is a wonderful garden tub that I would love to take a bath in haha!

But the weirdest thing when I was walking through the house was just the feeling. This is not my home. And I knew it. I didn't really like it. For them it's going to work..it might take some getting used to and things are going to change...the great thing is the boys will get their own rooms again. They will get their own space which they so desperately need. And Mom and my sister are going to have to figure out how to arrange everything..It's going to be interesting...But I walked around and knew..it's not my house..and I am not going to live here..

Thankfully they decided to wait until the weekend after school gets out to be out of this house. I was just going to be so stressed out if we had to be out in two weeks. So we have to be out of here June 15th. And I get to be in Redding on July 4th. So I have two weeks to find somewhere to sleep for a while. I mean it's not going to be too hard I don't think...or at least that's the hope..

Right?

:0)

Pain pain go away!!

For the last 24 hours my elbow has been hurting. The outside bony part...it hurts when it's at 90 degrees, and it hurts when it's straight. It just hurts. I hope I haven't done anything serious to it. I have a lot of packing to do.

My mom and sister got approved for a different house! They are going to move back to the city we moved here from (really only 6 miles away..not too big of a jump) But it's going to save on gas since everyone still works in that other city. The only problem is we have to pack everything back up. And move again. Looks like I will only be staying there 1 or 2 months..depending on when I find a job in Redding. But it kind of explains the overwhelming sense that I needed to have everything packed by the end of the month feeling that I have had lately. Right now my room is a complete disaster. I've got packed boxes and half packed boxes...and half the things off my wall. Stuff that I have had set aside for a yard sale that I have no idea where I will do now. You know..those sorts of things.

I'm trying not to be too anxious about it. Ha! Who wants to move twice in two months? I basically will be getting my own storage unit so my stuff is all separate and easy to move when it becomes time to do that. But right now instead of just packing me up now we have to pack the whole house up. That wasn't exactly what I was planning on doing in the next month.

Sometimes I wish I had a concrete plan set in stone. Trying to trust God and to trust the process. All I know is that I have to have a job by the middle of August sometime so I can pay things in September. I'm pretty sure the end of August will be my last paycheck. So I need a job and a place to stay.And it's killing me not knowing that right now because I want to plan for it. I would love to be able to know where I am going and what I am doing and just go with it. But all I know right now is I am going..And I don't know how and I don't know really know when. I just know where. And it's all overwhelming and nervewracking all at the same time!

And on top of all that my sister had to put her dog down today. She had him for 10 years..but he had cancer :( She had surgery done in April on him but the tumor came back and then was infected..so she put him down today. Like she said on Facebook, Cancer has stolen all the important men in her life, our dad, our grandpa, and now her dog. It was a weird feeling to come home to only two dogs...and this is why I don't want pets right now...I don't want to have to make those decisions!

I better go to bed...otherwise I'm just going to keep rambling forever!

Craziness

Well sometime you abandon all and go to bed before 9pm :-)

I was so completely humbled today. My deadline for my tuition for my class in Redding is coming up soon and I had posted on Facebook the link to my youcaring page if people wanted to donate to me they can. So I had a friend from church call me and told me she wanted to donate 100.00 to me! I was completely blown away. I honestly didn't know she even had that much to give me kind of knowing some of her circumstances. Lesson learned folks. Don't judge a book by their cover. They just might surprise you! Ok I mean I wasn't surprised that she wanted to I've to me. I was just surprised at her amount :-) 

So now I only need at least 300.00 more dollars by June 1st! And my faith is growing stronger that it will be fully met by then!

But for now. I sleep. -)

Four down!

I have four boxes packed and ready to go! Woo-hoo! I'm not feeling quite so stressed about it. I mean it's not like I don't have lots of other things to be stressed about right? I mean there are just going to be some things that I can't pack until right before I go, so I'm just going to have to be ok with that. But it's not going to stop me from packing what I can now. Especially if my family ends up moving again this month! I thought I was going to be the only one moving..but that might not be the case. So instead of me having everything we might have to have 2000 square feet ready to move by the end of the month. I've been pretty lucky to have lived in the same house for 23 years. I didn't have to constantly be moving next year. And I just get a sense that I will be moving more frequently in the future. It's not something that really excites me. So I'm trying to pare down what I own, knowing that I will be doing this a lot! And I'm sure with each time I do it that I will lose more stuff. Haha..or at least that might be the goal!

I seriously have super bad summer-itis. The countdown is on. We have less than a month now calendar wise until school is out. But I only have 12 school days left with my preschoolers. This is our last full 4 day week. The next three weeks only have 3 days in them and I am done! Well I do have to throw in a few more actual work days ;) But you get the drift. I know that's the one thing I am going to miss when I make it down to California is actually having a job that I only work 9 months out of the year. Sad to say working in a school has kind of ruined my for public schools. My currently non-existent children will be home-schooled  thankyouverymuch. I'm pretty convinced at this point.

And on that note I better make it to bed so I'm not super grumpy teacher tomorrow! My body is so confused right now...last night I was in bed by 8 and tonight it's already after 11. No set schedule for me! LOL!.

Oh Happy Day :-)

Happy Mother's Day :-) I hope all you mothers and soon to be mothers and spiritual mothers and step in mothers had a wonderful day :-)

We're off to see the Wizard!

Well I will be tonight. My niece is a munchkin in the Wizard of Oz play that one of the High School's here is putting on. It's the last showing and I will be there...3 hours long! I actually love going to plays and musicals. I wish I had more money to go to them..I would love to support them I just always find out too late or it's between paychecks..

So I helped my friend move today..and I seriously want my move to go like that! Haha...She had everything all ready to go in one section of her house and we loaded up the Uhaul in less than 45 minutes and unloaded in about the same time. All in all it took us 2 hours to get her stuff from one house to another...it was sooo fast! Now granted my move is two states down...But still...I want to be that organized! But I won't have nearly as much stuff as she does :) But it's also been a while since I've lived on my own ;) I have hardly any kitchen things..no couch..no tv. One twin mattress...yeah.. I don't even think I would need a 10 foot Uhaul...But then again I could surprise myself? I don't know! Haha...

I decided to post early since I will be up late...Hope you have a grand day!

Two drawers...

Well tonight I got two drawers cleaned out. Haha..and then I promptly put stuff back into them. So I guess technically they aren't really cleaned out? But I can't reach my filing cabinet very well currently..so all the stuff that I wanted to file I put back in a drawer. So it's at least gone through..This is stuff I am keeping and need to put somewhere else. Everything else went in the yard sale bag, recycling or garbage. I also had two small tubs that I am going to be putting office stuff and then electrical stuff in. The two big pieces of furniture that I decided not to keep basically were throw all my junk in them furniture. One is a buffet. It holds a variety of things but I managed to get the two easy drawers cleaned out tonight :) The top drawer is by far the most junk drawer of it all. It used to be so nice and organized and now I just avoid opening it. Haha..it's a lot of pens and sharpies and chargers and batteries and stuff. This is the stuff I really don't know where I'm going to put right now...it's basically taken the place of a desk really. I have a small secretary, but once again I don't use it except to hide stuff in it :) haha...so I will be getting a lot more organized. And getting rid of more office stuff..I really don't need 30 million pens. I mean I don't exaggerate...not one bit.

And the other cabinet held all my bathroom stuff and some other miscellaneous stuff. We didn't have room in our bathroom here to store all our stuff so I kept my cabinet that used to be in my closet at the other house. So as of right now that's mostly cleaned out..but I am still using stuff and hoping to use up some more stuff before I go. But I still have a little bit to go :)

So those two pieces are going to my cousin's house soon and I wanted to get those cleaned out first. It would be nice to get them out of my house and be able to use the room to store boxes LOL!

Which is the bad thing about moving...I don't have much room to put all my boxes. So I want to be all packed up and ready to go yet I don't have anywhere to put my stuff...so my room might just have to be a mess for the next two months...and I might just have to deal with it. HAHA..

Well I am off to help a friend move in the morning..so I need to get in bed :)

One down...

hopefully not to many more to go! Boxes of things packed that is.

I'm fully convinced now that I'm a hoarder. I have such a hard time separating myself from the stupidest little things. I just want to keep all of it and move it to California where I won't have room for it!

Uh....no.

I think I'm slowly but surely being talked into a dreaded yard sale. When we moved last year I swore up and down with major cursing that I would never have one of those again. And here I am a year later about to move again...and my friends keep telling me I should do one and they will help me and we can get people to donate things...And the more I need to get rid of stuff the more it's sounding like it should happen. I just need to clear some things with my Pastor to really make sure we can use the church parking lot and it might be a go :) Yikes. My friends must really love me :)

And a youtube video saved my life tonight. I searched for why itunes wouldn't recognize my phone and all it took was a video showing me how to update my driver on the phone and voila! My phone showed up in itunes. Thank you Jesus..I love my iphone..but I seriously hate itunes!

And I'm trying to figure out the appropriate way to sell the paintings I have done recently to raise money for my trip to Worship School. I mean can I just make an album in my facebook pictures and call it good? And how much do I charge for them..And all that stuff. Oh boy. :)

I wish I could be so brave like some of my friends and move taking as little as possible. And not be attached to so much stuff. It's just stuff. But its my stuff. It's who I am. It's a part of me. And some of it I will still be able to get rid of. But some of it I won't. And that's ok. I am just going to need to be in a season of figuring out which is which. What can I get rid of? Or what is an absolute keep?

It's all about letting go...

Wednesday..

Wednesday you could have been a little nicer to me....just saying.

I'm convinced itunes hates my guts. I can buy songs no problem from my phone...but I can't plug my phone into the computer and be recognized when I open itunes..so at this point I can't transfer anything over.. grr..I love my iphone and hate itunes..why can't the two of them get along with me?

13 days left with the preschool kiddos. oh boy. The time is coming rapidly to a close and I still can't believe we are that close. Plus the fact that 13 days will still take 4 weeks...but still ;) Next week is our last 4 day school week. This has been a rough year...full of changes at school. I'm ready for a new chapter in my life right now that does not hopefully involve children. But who knows what I'm going to end up with when I make it to California..

Just short and sweet today...I still hate itunes...i guess I'm falling asleep to the computer and not the phone tonight..

too much...

stuff..

I have too much stuff. I tried to pack up one of my cabinets today. I figured I was gonna move some of the toiletries around and what not..

I seriously didn't even get one whole shelf completely cleared off.

I. Am. Doomed.

And a little bit of a Drama Queen. ;)

I think more than anything this is going to be a new season of Letting Go. I'm letting go of my comfortable job, and housing. I'm letting go of stuff. (And let me tell you I'm going to be letting go of way more stuff! Holy moly guacamole!) I'm stepping out into the complete unknown. People keep asking me what my plan is.

Here's my plan:

I don't have one.

At least that's not completely set in stone. I know my plan is to be in Redding the majority of July. I will be attending Worship U on Campus at Bethel Church from July 7th-18th. And at the same time I'm going to be looking for a job and some people to move in with. There's a job I have my heart kind of set on. I'm just praying favor for that. And I need to live with 2-3 people really to be able to live ok :)

And that's all I know right now. And if you don't know the song Oceans by Hillsong United, it's pretty much my life right now :)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine


Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Cinco

Cinco always comes after the 4th...There should be a running tally of jokes or pictures or something!

Anyways.

Tonight at church I did something I haven't really done before :) We picked out the keys of songs that I would sing them in so we can start practicing them to lead them. My worship leader worked with 3 of us girls figuring that out. It was fun to practice the songs and then hear the other two do the same one. We actually found a song that all 3 of us sang in the same key. Haha..so that was cool..

And in other news: I packed a bag today. I've really just been feeling the need to start packing for the move..so I took some clothes that I was saving for when I am smaller. *cough cough* way smaller and I packed them up. And hey! Go me..I even got rid of a few of them once I decided I didn't actually want them anymore. Truthfully I should probably just get rid of all of them. But I kept about 4 pairs of pants and 2 shirts. Now this is waaaay down from the bags of clothes that I had when I lived at the other house...I am gonna learn to not be a packrat before I move and it's going to be amazing!

So 1 down..too many to go! Haha..I have some furniture that I am passing along to other family members, so I guess right now my goal is to get those emptied so that when they get here they can go to their house...yep yep..that's a good goal..

And now my other goal is to fall asleep before midnight. Because that would be just down right amazing!!

May the Fourth be with you...

Now that the obligatory Star Wars joke is out of the way....

At church today we continued on with the bake sale and I came home with another 76 dollars. I'm actually quite shocked that my little church was that generous with their money when they had no idea I was doing a bake sale :) Bad planning on my part but it worked. I need about 400 more dollars for my trip this summer. I am sooooo close :0) There are other things I need to...like my car to get fixed..but I know that will come...

It's been a really hard season. I really thought that I was coming out of all the crap..but no..it just changes. Work has just had an added stress. And I've gotten in the mentality of just being done. I literally have so little time left there..One calendar month from today is my kid's last day at school. And then a couple days later will be my official last day at the school. I've worked at the same school since April of 2010. And I've been very spoiled there. I tell you what..one of the perks of working at the school district is the schedule. Where else do you get winter break, spring break, and all summer off? It's going to be a big mental change of going back to work year round. I have LOVED having the school schedule. But I know its time for a change. California's laws are different when it comes to working with kids..and I don't have all the necessary college credits it takes to be able to work in childcare down there..so it's forcing me to change really..

And I'm just getting ansty...I'm ready to pack up my life and start moving on...It's so hard to live in the now and the present..and yet still figure out how to get to where I want to be down there. It's the tightrope walk..and I just don't feel like I'm doing so hot at it right now..

And so I plod on...hi ho hi ho..it's back to work I go :)

Dreaming

Well 3 days in and I've already missed a day..haha..I was busy baking last night for my bake sale today.

So this School of Worship that I was accepted for in California costs a lot of money. It's $775.00 tuition for two weeks..and then you need a place to stay. And then you need gas to drive there...and then well, you need to eat. So it's well over $1200.00 for me to go. And to come up with in a short amount of time..yikes. So today I did a fundraiser...my friend sells Paparazzi jewelry. And she had mentioned doing a fundraiser for me to help raise money. So I on a whim decided to throw a bake sale in. Bake sales are a gift from God really. I got to bake. And then sell it. :0) And make money. So all in all today I raised 100.00 towards my trip. That was with what she donated, and money from the bake sale, and then just whatever people donated. So I felt pretty encouraged when I counted it out after we were done. But there was enough bake sale stuff left over that we left it at the church and are going to sell it tomorrow :0) Yummmy!

That's what I've been up to the last couple of days. My tuition is due June 1st. So I'm getting pretty antsy...but it's so close...I can't wait for July!

Redding here I come :0)

May Day, May Day

OH don't mind me...I was just laying there almost asleep when I realized I said it was my goal to post every day this month. So I better get up and do that! *yawn*

Well lets see. True to par this year has been trying. One of my little brothers broke BOTH of his arms at the same time. We spent 5 weeks with 2 casts..It's funny how it becomes "normal" so fast, and then you have to relearn everything.

I have 26 days of work left. It almost seems surreal. I still have to put in my letter to HR telling them I'm not returning next year. It's becoming more and more clear to me that this is the right time to be moving on. Although I honestly have no idea how I will be living and surviving in California. It's Jesus for sure.

My life right now seems to be full of "lasts." This is my last time doing that...or last time doing this. Sometimes they are good last, but sometimes it's a little sad. It's almost like a grieving process. But I think I'm going to make it through :)

It's another short and sweet update :) But I mean you really don't want a huge long one right? Right.

Oh hey Apr....May

So April has now come and gone. I've noticed my pattern of when life isn't going well neither is the blog. I think for May I'm going to make it a goal to blog every day. I have some pretty big life changes coming up in the next couple of months. And it's time to quit hiding around and get ready for them. And I think by blogging I might be able to work through some things. So this post might be a little short and sweet tonight, I will be thinking of something to say for tomorrow ;)

Oh yeah. Life lesson fail: Didn't go to the gym at ALL during April. Not one day. After my going almost every day in March that was a complete fail. HAHAHA. But I'm not letting it get to me. Although I do need to get my fitness goals back to a forefront instead of on the back burner. Like always. This soon to be California girl has got to get a little healthier and fitter. ;) For Sure.

And just like always, I go outside for a 30 minute recess and HOLY INSTANT SUNBURN BATMAN! Yeah. my neck and chest are a little red ;) Needless to say I will be hitting the sunscreen tomorrow before work!

March March March

Oh blogger. I have come on here to read other people's posts..and I just don't know what to say. Life took a hard hit in January and it took me all of February to recover. I didn't make any goals...I pretty much didn't work out. I had a lot of pajama weekends. I was really just in a place of what am I supposed to be doing? Where am I supposed to be? Why am I here still? I talked to several friends about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

I just didn't have any desire to find a church in the town that I live in. I wanted to go to the church in California, which I was supposed to go visit at the beginning of the month and all of Oregon decided to get snowed on and pretty much close down my path to California. I did a lot of researching churches and none of them really appealed to me here...but my desire to be there was pretty strong. I would rather stay in my bedroom on a Sunday live-streaming their service than trying to find a church here.

I wrestled with what's the will of God in my life right now. I had to look at every opportunity here...maybe my church closing just pushed the timeline up of me moving to California. My secret plan was to finish school and get my degree, and then move down there. But that would have taken me more than 2 years. But I ended up with no real attachments to this area anymore suddenly in January. Is now the right time? I couldn't get a really good sense of what I'm supposed to do. But one of my friends basically told me that by moving or staying that God is still going to bless what I do. That I'm not going against his heart by moving, and that he will work it out for my good.

So I'm taking that leap. You know..that one in faith that says "Just what the heck are you actually doing?" I told my supervisor last week that after this school year is over, I'm not returning and I'm moving to Redding, California. So at some point before the end of August I will be getting all my stuff down there and finding a job and a place to live :)

But in the meantime!!! I got accepted to go to a 2 week School of Worship at Bethel Church in Redding California. Now I'm super excited about this...but quite nervous. Altogether its $775 for tuition and then I need two weeks of housing and gas and food money. And I made this decision last year that I was going to actually do this THIS year. So by faith I had my 100 deposit in my bank account and applied when it opened up in January. Well February 19th I got the email saying I'd been accepted :0) And So the other day I paid my deposit...now I only need 675 more for tuition. And while looking at housing options last week I came across a house that I can rent (with about 6 other girls) for $250 for the whole two weeks. And amazingly my tax return this year covered almost all of that. So I was able to mail a check off last week to pay my housing completely. It's crazy how it's all pulling together...but it is..

And on the side note of working out and eating better...Well I'm at least getting the working out done ;) I made a goal to go to the gym every day in March. In my head I came up with this great plan of alternating one mile and legs, two miles, and core, and three miles and arms. Well that went great for two days ;) haha..I got to day 3 and couldn't get to 3 miles. My body just wasn't up for it. But I did a little more than two and did some arms and moved on. I will be going to the gym at a different time from now on to see if I can get past that mental block.

It's the eating better that really gets me. There is just such a mental block. I just don't like a lot of foods. I'm such a texture eater. There are just things I can't handle because of that. And well I seem to be allergic to every kind of food that I don't mind eating ;) Which is a downfall. Because then I'm eating things I'm still allergic to. So I'm not getting them to leave my body, so it's still bloating and holding on to all of that. I'm starting to cut back on my coffee...Simply because I need to save the money...so that will help in the no milk department...I just need to get away from the mac and cheese. It's just really easy to eat for lunch when I don't seem to have the time to make anything else that's quick.

SO that's my updated life in a nutshell..If you would like to help me out financially to get to Redding for School of Worship I would so LOVE and appreciate that! You can let me know and I can give you my address to send money to me, or I can give you a link to where you can donate to me directly at the church's website.

Real life

Well I'm glad the first 9 days of the year were awesome. I have spent the next 14 days wishing for a redo button. That was a fast reality crash.

Due to unforeseen events my church closed last week. And my life has once again gone into a tailspin. I found out Tuesday of last week that the church was closing. I spent Wednesday evening packing up the church and Thursday moving it out of the building. Saturday night I tried out a different church. It wasn't bad. Just different.

But it's not what I was expecting to start out the year with. I wasn't expecting to be churchless 10 days into the new year. I wasn't expecting my Pastors to have to move away so that he can recover. I wasn't expecting to have to find a new church. I mean really. I was planning on moving in a year or so to a different place and going to a different church there. But I already know that church. I don't have to guess or church shop around for a church.

It hasn't fully sunk in yet. I love my Pastors. I truly want whats best for them and for their health. But I wasn't quite ready to fly out of the nest yet. Haha. I was pretty dang comfortable.

Which leads me to think that this just might not end up being a comfortable year :) And that's a little scary of a process to think.

It's like I said on facebook after it all happened. God I don't know what you are doing...but I know YOU. His plans are to prosper me, not harm me. His plans are to be right beside me, not hiding from me. His plans are to lead and guide me, not leave my hanging to my own devices.

And while I haven't made it to the gym, due to long nights and less sleep. I really just am trying to not make myself sick. I haven't let my eating go completely. I think today has been the worst day out of all of them. I have had way too much bread and milk. But for the most part I've still kept myself in check for the majority of the day. And that's at least something.

So I'm not even out of January yet, and I feel like I need to start over haha! I guess life just might not be going the way I thought it was. So here's to a new adventure!

Progress

Well. 9 days into the new year and I'm actually feeling pretty good about how things are going. Could I be better? Of course! But I'm pleased with the decisions I've made. I've tried a new food already. Finished burning some of my CD's, I've created and have been sticking to a working out routine. I've been dairy free 4 out of 9 days. And gluten free 6 out of 9 days. And really it's not like I've horribly binged on everything dairy and gluten. For the dairy it was just the fact that I had a regular iced coffee instead of a soy one. The rest of the day was fine. And then today I had 2 cinnamon rolls. The icing I'm sure had milk in it, so I counted that as dairy today. Oh and then I had some chicken nuggets at dinner. And then the other day that I had gluten was the day I had a normal waffle in the morning because I was going to work out and hadn't gone to the store yet.And then stayed gluten free the rest of the day. I guess I forgot that I didn't start all these food goals until the second. So technically I'm one day off, but oh well.

The majority of the time I have made the right decisions and been gluten and dairy free. And I'm not angry or mad at myself. I knew that I was going to be easing myself into it. And I could tell today. I came home with a headache. Which I knew was from the food. So I can already tell that it's working. I just need to get that regular coffee down to once a week ;)

So my coworker the other day showed me a product on facebook that she had seen a picture of. It's called gluten-ease. And you are supposed to be able to take it before you eat gluten or casein. (Which is what I am allergic to) and it's supposed to help you digest the gluten or casein better and help your body with them. I'm pretty intrigued by it. At first I was a little leary about it. I don't want to be reliant on something to help me digest something I'm not supposed to be eating in the first place. But then I became curious and want to try it. Well mainly because I want to keep on drinking Dutch Bros :) I just can't handle a soy Iced kicker :( Not good at all!. So I'm probably going to end up getting some and trying it out. Not so I can get away with eating all the crap I was before, but if I want to get my coffee once a week, or if I'm in a social setting that I know I'm going to be served food I shouldn't be eating I can try it. I'm not willing to go soy everything. I can handle soy in my hot coffees. But not in cold. So yeah..that's just something that I saw. But it did have a warning saying it wasn't intended for people with Celiac's disease. I don't want to become dependent on something like that. But a little help now and them wouldn't hurt ;)

And the gym :) Oh I am quickly liking going the gym late at night. Like after 8 or almost 9. It's been pretty empty in there at that time. So I'm not fighting anyone over machines or anything like that. And I'm not being intimidated by what the people around me are doing. Except for the one guy running tonight. He had great form and was just going to town on that treadmill. I wasn't gonna get right next to him and start huffing and puffing haha!

So tonight it was Week one of c25k day 2. I'm seriously only running at a 3 mph pace. But I'm moving :) And its not hurting my knee still. Last night I was there and I did the strength training that I learned about when I went and had someone show me the machines. I was able to find most of them, but I can't remember what some of them are haha!! So I didn't get to do those ones. But it was good to get some strength training in. That's one of my weaker areas for sure. But having the clipboard there and writing down what I did is going to help me be accountable to it for sure! And then I'm not wandering aimlessly around the weights wondering what the heck to do. I'd forgotten how much I'd missed the machines! I'm looking forward into getting back into that for sure.

And I guess today I just started feeling a little smaller. It's been around a week now. I would think that I should be seeing some results. My stomach seems a little smaller, and either I really need to wash my jeans or they were fitting a little bit looser. Or it could be both. It's going to be interesting to keep going with the not weighing myself all year. I really want to know haha! But then again I don't really want to know. What if it was a much smaller number than I would have wanted? See I don't have any level of disappointment here. Only in the fact that I didn't do the goals. So I'm still thinking I'm going to be much better off in the process :)

Well I better get off to bed. I might be liking this night owl thing at the gym...but my body's internal clock is still waking me up too early! So yeah..it needs to act accordingly!

Contagious

It's also a good thing that I didn't make a goal of blogging every day ;) Because sometimes life just goes by in a blink!

So today I started my second college class ever. I woke up exhausted today. Don't you hate that when that happens? Water Aerobics kicked my butt yesterday. I LOVE my Monday night instructor. She had us doing BALLET under water and then a few minutes later we were jumping up and shooting baskets like we were playing basketball. I was highly amused. I was never one to say I was athletic when I was younger. The whole point of doing it in the water is to prove I'm not athletic..Haha..anyways. So I was pretty beat after the class and got to bed around 10:30. Needless to say 6 am came way to fast. (Just like it will tomorrow!!)

But today I went and did what I always do this time of year. Restart C25K ;) I am bound and determined to make myself a runner. I'm just a runner with a lot of breaks that's all. Yeah. That's it. And it totally just dawned on me after I got home. My knee didn't bother me one bit while I was on the treadmill. One of the reasons that I quit running on the treadmill at my grandparents house last year was that it was actually hurting my knee to run. Now granted that treadmill was ancient. (No offense Grandma) The ones at the gym are a little newer. And I kept the incline at zero. I mean c'mon. I"m gonna ease myself into this. But it didn't hurt my knee. So that's going to be encouraging as I continue to go.

Which I did in total icy conditions tonight. As I left class, ( Oh yeah, rabbit trail, I will get back to that) it had started to freeze rain/snow winter mix. Whatever you want to call it. Now it's no Polar Vortex over here...and I've got snow tires on. So I'm not too concerned about driving in it. I have driven in way worse blizzard type weather and I didn't consider this to be too bad. I got to the gym about 7:40 and there was literally like 5 people there. I'm thinking I'm gonna like going later in the evening because of the fact there is less people. I was actually expecting there to be a lot of people because it's the beginning of the year and people resolve to lose weight and all that jazz. There hasn't really been an influx of people in water aerobics and at 8 pm no one is working out. I think I picked a great gym :) I'm gonna see how crazy it is on a Saturday morning this week when I start running and THEN doing water aerobics. Cause I'm crazy like that. I needed to do 3 runs a week and I don't want to do them on back to back days. So I had to double up on one day. And well Saturday seems like a good day to do that..I'm gonna try it out this month and see how it goes.

Back to school.

Since it was the first day of class we had to do the obligatory get to know each other mixer thing. Well my teacher is very creative. We made a t-shirt out of construction paper. And we had to write our name, one word to describe ourselves, what we wanted out of the class, our favorite food, and one thing people wouldn't know about me. I secretly hate these things. So while we were at the table I said out loud..One word to describe me? And one of the gals who was in the class with me last quarter said the word "Contagious".

And it resonated inside of me.

Do people think I'm Contagious? Do they follow what I do? Does it make me able to get people to do things when they otherwise wouldn't? Does it make me a leader? Or is it just an attitude?

I WANT to be contagious. I want people to see who I am and want to be like me. I want to smile at people and have it change their day. I want to be able to walk into a room and shift the atmosphere of the room because I am there. I shouldn't be taking on the attitude of whoever is in the room. I should be creating it.

It gave me hope for this year. To learn how to be contagious. It's about getting people to catch on to what you have or what you are doing. To get people to come alongside you and be with you. To change people when they didn't even know they wanted to be changed ;)

I want to be contagious.

And I will leave you with this treat. I love Dutch Bros. Specifically the one right by my house. They literally know my order as I pull up and remember who I am. Yeah it makes me feel special ok? And as much as I need to go dairy free...DB is gonna be my dairy treat because dang it...I just can't get their soy kicker to taste good :( So today on my way to class I stopped by to get my drink. When I got to class I saw this:

It just made my night :0) Thanks DB for taking good care of me :) ❤️

Trying something new

Well tonight I tried a sweet potato...I know..I'm weird..I've never tried one before, but I chose it as one of the things I wanted to try, because I forsee myself eating a lot of baked potatoes, and I wanted to see if I would like one. Nope. I did not. I even put chili all over it, and that did not help haha!

But I tried it. And I ate about half of it before stopping. I just couldn't choke down anymore. I hadn't cooked it all the way, and I am a big texture person when it comes to eating...so yeah..but I tried :0)

I also have been making progress on burning my cd's to the external hard drive. Tonight I got about 50 of them burned. It's really time consuming but it's gonna be worth it when I can declutter my room. Speaking of that, I also started going through the utility closet in my room. That sounds odd to say, but when I had my own apartment at my old house, I had a big closet/cupboard thing in my walk in closet. It used to just hold a lot of junk that I didn't know what to do with but I wanted to keep. Well now it holds all of my toiletries, and well the rest of the junk that I want to keep but I don't know what to do with. I'm still paring it down thought. I emptied it out tonight and I am once again getting rid of stuff that I don't need or want anymore. I'm still pretty sentimental and want to keep a lot of stuff. I guess I'm gonna just have to get used to that fact about myself. So now I just need to come up with more ways to organize all my sentimental stuff and get it properly taken care of and stored away. But I'm getting there..I've found a lot of paper stuff tonight that I am shredding or recycling and a few things for the garbage here or there..but I will feel better once I get it all put back away..Right now my room still looks like a tornado hit it and it's 12:05 am. I've got a bit more to go before I can go to bed tonight haha!

The fun thing about burning all my CD's is that I am rediscovering all the music that I own. I literally haven't listened to any of my CD's in months if not years. The cd player in my car never works and every cd player I would own would skip after a while, so I moved on to whatever I had already put on my computer or Pandora. Even youtube :) So after looking at what I have it will be fun to play my music again...it will be like buying new cd's...except they are all old songs ;)


I'm feeling pretty good so far this year! I feel like I'm getting stuff done, and it's tracking that way too! I can be such a nerd sometimes ;)

Cleaning out life..

Today was one of those days where I wanted to get so much more done than I actually did. I have had the last two weeks off for Christmas Break. Did I do much? Nope. I hardly even got out of my pajamas for most of it. My bed and I have been very friendly. I have taken the word break very literal. That's for sure.

And of course in my life when my room is a mess, I seem to be a mess. So a lot of times when I feel the need to clean out my life it always ends up being a spiritual cleaning as well as a physical one. But today I was focusing on the kitchen during the day. The counter and the stove have been driving me crazy, so I took everything off of the counter and wiped it off really good and put everything away. Then I attacked the stove. I mean took burners off, elements out and lifted the top up and cleaned underneath the stove part. I was scrubbing grease out of that thing for over an hour! It was crazy. But the stove looks much better now :) It was almost like spring cleaning..in the winter haha!

And then tonight I sorted through some of my clothes and finally started burning my cd's to my external hard drive so I can start getting rid of them. I now realize this is going to take forever! Oh my gosh. Of course tonight I had to figure out where I had left off. I started this process before we moved back in May, so it was time to restart. I got the ones burned that didn't want to work last time and then about 15 more..and it took me almost 2 hours. Yikes. I have somewhere around 350 cd's. So this is going to take a while. But I can't wait until it's done and I can make some space in my room and get rid of all the tubs holding cd cases. It kind of saddens me though. I love music. I loved buying cd's and reading all the cover art and stuff..and I don't get that when I buy them on Itunes. So it's not the same kind of feeling for me. I will more than likely have a better chance of listening to all my music when they finally all get on the drive. Click click and I am there :0)

Stayed dairy and gluten free again today. :0) But I'm hungry! I definitely need to get to the store and get some more food I can eat. I'm pretty limited right now because my family loves gluten and dairy. Of course. Breakfast still is a struggle for me. I just have no idea what to eat that early that is easy to prepare and healthy. And doesn't involve dairy, bread, or eggs. Shoot..let's just take away every breakfast item known to mankind and make it off limits for me. Thanks body.

Well I better be getting to bed. I am pretty determined to get to water aerobics at 9 am. Which is still earlier than I would like to be up on my last Saturday of break, but I put it on the workout calendar :) So that must mean I should go!

Day one of gluten and dairy free

Whoah...I've got a lot of work ahead of me.

I'd say today was pretty successful. Minus 2 bowls of fritos and lay's potato chips to tide me over while food was cooking I'd say I did pretty good. Ok..I had a soda too...but it was only 8 oz ;) But I never said anything about giving up soda did I? Oh no I didn't. That's because I probably can count the number on both my hand on how often I drink it. Well this year? I'm 2 for 2. Haha..I normally don't keep it in the house and the had the cute little 8 oz A&W cans...really the only soda I will choose to drink. So I split it up with ice 2 times and thoroughly enjoyed it :)

I discovered that I can easily wait too long to make food. Especially since it's more real foods..I have to take the time to cook it. Which today meant 45 minutes for some brown rice and later over an hour to bake my potato. Because in my little world potatoes don't get cooked in the microwave ;) And so with trying to take the time to make the food I feel into the oh-my-gosh I am starving and ate a handful of chips before lunch and then again for a snack before dinner. I'll get something figured out..so I won't be starving by the time I eat.

So let's see. Today I had coffee, a banana,some fritos,  a salad with brown rice and a can of chicken (like tuna), then some lays,some applesauce, a baked potato, and a chicken breast, and a can of soda. NO dairy and NO gluten! SO in that way it was quite a successful day. I just need to learn to restructure it a little more and add some healthier choices in. All in all I didn't do horrible. I know for sure that I am not going to be putting food in that I don't love. I'm here to live my life, not hate my food. The goal is to come up with some new foods that I might learn to like, but I'm not throwing everything in all at once. I looked at my plate at dinner and thought it could have used a vegetable, but I was eating an hour past everyone else and wasn't going to make a whole can of green beans for myself ;)  Like I said. I'm getting there :0)

So I know that meal planning is going to be a must for me now. I can't just go rummaging around the kitchen trying to find something to eat. Because at that point it's not going to be gluten or dairy free if I'm trying to eat out of convenience. And that defeats the purpose.

I'm also going to have to be sure that I am watching my salt intake. I noticed that I salted my salad as well as the chicken having a lot of salt. And then of course the chips, and then later I made sure not to salt my potato, even though I wanted it because I felt like I had too much for the day. It's all about finding the balance.

So today was off to a good start :) Now on to tomorrow!

Well hello 2014...

It's a new year. A new beginning. Doesn't everyone always feel excited and ready to take on a new year right about now? Wait no? Not really?

I have tended to start out the year feeling depressed about how the last year went and how I never accomplished anything or did anything with my life. To be honest the last two years have kinda sucked. And last year I was ready for a fresh start, and well it didn't really happen.

So I decided to do things differently this year. And I've mentioned it in the last couple of blogs I've written, with my goals for January. But something hit me this morning. I can have all these goals and ideas but I don't have a way to track them and keep myself accountable. I need a way to show myself in December that yes, I did accomplish something. I want proof that I didn't spend this year doing "nothing" like I always feel like.

So I jumped on excel this morning and made a very simple checklist of my goals and the dates 1-31. Haha..cause I just like to check boxes off. I mean it's rustic. But whatever..it's gonna help me track. And I can tell you right now that I know I'm not going to be completely dairy and gluten free in January. But if I can be 85-90% it's a dang good start. Then I can work on improving it in February and keep going. But I have to be realistic about life and understand that it takes time. I don't want to make myself fail at it. Or set myself up for a binge. But I do have a pot of Velveeta dip in the crockpot right now just waiting to be devoured :) Eating goals don't start until the 2nd ;)

Since one of my big goals this year is to not weigh myself at all, I did it yesterday. I think I determined that I gained 21 pounds last year. Like I said..the last 2 years weren't all that kind to me. I enjoyed my food and coffee lol! And so I did the most logical thing to me to do to keep myself off of the scale :) I took the battery out. Smart no? I thought so. I know I won't be tempted to go into my sister's room to use hers...and mine's gonna be put away out of sight out of mind with no battery. So I would have to be completely desperate to go buy a new battery and dig my scale out to weigh myself. But I'm looking forward to not weighing myself this year.

My main goal this year is to quit obsessing about weight loss and go out and live my life.

If I had to sum up all of my goals this year that would be it. Yes. Establishing a new eating routine and getting myself into a regular workout schedule are part of my goals. But so is making my bed everyday and decluttering my life. It's a relative to a better me.. You know? And deciding to make monthly goals instead of yearly ones has made me feel not so overwhelmed. I can do things for 4 weeks at a time. You know. So I can change things up and not be into such a rut. That's what I'm telling myself.

So out with the old, and in with the new fresh start. A clean slate. A new year. To make of it what I will, and see what I will become. And the things that happen because of the choices that I make.

I know I'm ready for it!

Goals for January

Well..I have some goals

I did this two ways...just every day goals..things I will actually be able to accomplish ;) And then I made the workout calendar. Haha..That one might get some tinkering done with. And well you can see that on my Birthday not only will I be at college, I will then be going to the gym for a lovely session of C25K which I seem to be eternally starting over. Dag nab it. I am surely to get my 250 pounds of self into a runner. And it will surely help me in getting ready for Bloomsday. Yes I said that word. The biggest 12k fun run in the state if not in the US? I'd have to check on that. I made a verbal commitment to do it this year with two of my cousin's on my Dad's side. Now that being the beginning of the month I would like to think about moving out in, and the month before I want to be in California for two weeks for a class at a church I don't know if it will happen. But I am going to train for it. Especially if I get to do it with them :0) And it's less than 20.00 to register for, so I'm sure I will be ok...

So here they are :0) My goals

 

~Dairy Free/Gluten Free (1 milk coffee a week)

~Try 2 new foods this month to be determined

~Complete workout sheet

~Register for Bloomsday (May 4th)

~Research School of Worship for July at Bethel

~Make bed every day

~Get CD’s transferred to external hard drive by end of month

~Set aside time to read Bible, pray, worship daily
~Take care of my feet every day, whether its washing or soaking or putting a treatment on. Get these toes cleared up in 2014!!

~Stay off of the scale

So some of these are easy peasy. Like Registering for Bloomsday and making my bed. I mean really how hard is it to straighten out my comforter and make it look nice. Pretty hard apparently. I can't ever seem to do it. Unless I know someone that doesn't live in my house is going to be coming in my room. Then I make sure to do it. I'm really just lazy. That's all there is to it. 

And yes. For now I'm planning on treating myself to Dutch Bros Coffee the night of my college class. I will see how it starts affecting my stomach and go from there. I can't be running out of the class every week to go to the bathroom..so we shall see. 

I need to be serious about dairy free. I need to be serious about gluten free. My body is just so bloated. And I'm wondering if this eternal headache isn't from food and not the stagnant air warning that we are having. Those two right there are going to be the hardest goals to accomplish. I know that for sure.

I figured 2 new foods a month would be good to try. This is another thing I'm pretty leery about. But if I have to cut the majority of what I eat out of my life I'm gonna have to be adding stuff into it. So it's just going to have to happen whether I want it to or not. 

I just need to have a deadline for getting my cd's transferred to my hard drive. Ok. I have over 300 cd's that just take up room in my room. It's time for them to go digital and disappear. Well most of them. Some of them I'm going to keep (like the Christmas ones for sure) but the others unless they are signed or special things I'm planning on getting rid of. I don't even have a cd player anymore unless you count my computer. So the reasoning for me to keep them is really gone. It's really kinda sad. I was a die-hard CD girl. I didn't like going digital. I love opening the covers and seeing the lyrics and reading them cover to cover. But they just aren't the same anymore..and they are cheaper online. So I have caved. Plus I just don't have room to store over 300 cd's that I don't listen to anymore. Some people collect movies. I collected CD's :) I'm not much of a movie girl. I probably own less than 25 movies. And that might be generous. ;)

And to be honest, I haven't had success in the last couple of years at establishing a quiet time with the Lord routine. And I so desperately need to get a routine back. And this is the year it will happen :0)

So there you have it. My goals for January. I think at this point I'm only going to take it one month at a time. I can set my mind to do anything for 4 weeks. And that will keep it fresh and exciting. And it will keep me having to come up with more things to plan for. So yeah. There it is :0)