Contagious

It's also a good thing that I didn't make a goal of blogging every day ;) Because sometimes life just goes by in a blink!

So today I started my second college class ever. I woke up exhausted today. Don't you hate that when that happens? Water Aerobics kicked my butt yesterday. I LOVE my Monday night instructor. She had us doing BALLET under water and then a few minutes later we were jumping up and shooting baskets like we were playing basketball. I was highly amused. I was never one to say I was athletic when I was younger. The whole point of doing it in the water is to prove I'm not athletic..Haha..anyways. So I was pretty beat after the class and got to bed around 10:30. Needless to say 6 am came way to fast. (Just like it will tomorrow!!)

But today I went and did what I always do this time of year. Restart C25K ;) I am bound and determined to make myself a runner. I'm just a runner with a lot of breaks that's all. Yeah. That's it. And it totally just dawned on me after I got home. My knee didn't bother me one bit while I was on the treadmill. One of the reasons that I quit running on the treadmill at my grandparents house last year was that it was actually hurting my knee to run. Now granted that treadmill was ancient. (No offense Grandma) The ones at the gym are a little newer. And I kept the incline at zero. I mean c'mon. I"m gonna ease myself into this. But it didn't hurt my knee. So that's going to be encouraging as I continue to go.

Which I did in total icy conditions tonight. As I left class, ( Oh yeah, rabbit trail, I will get back to that) it had started to freeze rain/snow winter mix. Whatever you want to call it. Now it's no Polar Vortex over here...and I've got snow tires on. So I'm not too concerned about driving in it. I have driven in way worse blizzard type weather and I didn't consider this to be too bad. I got to the gym about 7:40 and there was literally like 5 people there. I'm thinking I'm gonna like going later in the evening because of the fact there is less people. I was actually expecting there to be a lot of people because it's the beginning of the year and people resolve to lose weight and all that jazz. There hasn't really been an influx of people in water aerobics and at 8 pm no one is working out. I think I picked a great gym :) I'm gonna see how crazy it is on a Saturday morning this week when I start running and THEN doing water aerobics. Cause I'm crazy like that. I needed to do 3 runs a week and I don't want to do them on back to back days. So I had to double up on one day. And well Saturday seems like a good day to do that..I'm gonna try it out this month and see how it goes.

Back to school.

Since it was the first day of class we had to do the obligatory get to know each other mixer thing. Well my teacher is very creative. We made a t-shirt out of construction paper. And we had to write our name, one word to describe ourselves, what we wanted out of the class, our favorite food, and one thing people wouldn't know about me. I secretly hate these things. So while we were at the table I said out loud..One word to describe me? And one of the gals who was in the class with me last quarter said the word "Contagious".

And it resonated inside of me.

Do people think I'm Contagious? Do they follow what I do? Does it make me able to get people to do things when they otherwise wouldn't? Does it make me a leader? Or is it just an attitude?

I WANT to be contagious. I want people to see who I am and want to be like me. I want to smile at people and have it change their day. I want to be able to walk into a room and shift the atmosphere of the room because I am there. I shouldn't be taking on the attitude of whoever is in the room. I should be creating it.

It gave me hope for this year. To learn how to be contagious. It's about getting people to catch on to what you have or what you are doing. To get people to come alongside you and be with you. To change people when they didn't even know they wanted to be changed ;)

I want to be contagious.

And I will leave you with this treat. I love Dutch Bros. Specifically the one right by my house. They literally know my order as I pull up and remember who I am. Yeah it makes me feel special ok? And as much as I need to go dairy free...DB is gonna be my dairy treat because dang it...I just can't get their soy kicker to taste good :( So today on my way to class I stopped by to get my drink. When I got to class I saw this:

It just made my night :0) Thanks DB for taking good care of me :) ❤️

Wednesday Weigh in week 102

Boy I am ready for a new week haha! I think it comes with not actually working a whole lot during the month of November..and then going to 3 straight weeks of kids every day. It's a little tiring. Then you throw in life and school and church and all that. Let's just say I stayed in bed until 6:30 this am and that's reaaaaaaallly pushing it. I was so warm and cozy in my bed however. I looked at my phone and I'm just not a big fan of this 10 degrees and feels like 2. We finally had indoor recess today. Simply because even at 25 degrees it's no fun for a preschooler to go outside. So we did indoor stuff.

Not gonna lie..the first couple times I weighed myself today I didn't want to take a picture. But I finally got it to say 247.8 haha...twice. So that's what I'm going with. Some day my brain will register that I want to be skinny more than I want coffee. Or sodium. Yep. That's what I'm gonna go with.

Other than that I don't have too much to report this week. I'm super busy, so I'm super tired. I'm gonna take some melatonin and go to bed early tonight...something I keep saying I'm going to do and then don't actually do...But it's a goal...I'm going to be in bed very very soon :0)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 94

Oh it's that pesky time of the month. You know...the time where you join the gym on Saturday and then can't make it to water aerobics on Monday. The one that causes you to gain a pound. Yeah. It's that time of the month. But luckily it was only a pound. Haha...

I swear the week just tends to fly by. And before I know it it's Wednesday again. And I haven't done any sort of weight loss attempt at all ;) LOL!

I'm looking forward to making a routine for the gym. To have set nights or times and just go. And having pool time. Haha...Maybe I'm just weird like that. I'm more excited about having a gym with a pool than I am about working out on the machines. Although I am excited about the machines too. I need to go back and get an appointment made for someone to show me how to use all the machines in the gym. That way I know what I need to be doing for each of them and I don't avoid machines because I don't know what the do. Needless to say I'm a little bit excited. :)

We made some yummy chicken alfredo tonight. Yes. It's out of a box. And yes it has milk and cheese in it. Did I mention it was yummy? And cheap. And I wanted to try it? And it has Velveeta? Yah yah yah. All those things I shouldn't have. Such is life. Dairy is a hard hard thing to get rid of completely. But not as hard as garlic :(

Sorry it's super short, It's late and I reaaallly need to get to bed.

Wednesday weigh in week 83

Oh hey, looks it's WEDNESDAY and I am posting! Haha. I will have to set a reminder or something for the summer to remember to post, since I'm not weighing in.

I guess I don't really have too much to report since I only posted on Monday. I'm still plugging away with my squat challenge. I'm getting super excited about almost finishing this. Haha. And today ended up being a rest day, so I didn't have to wake up to do any squats. Tomorrow, however, I have to do 175. And really that's technically over 200 because of the double squatting! LOL! And I really prefer just to do them in the morning and my yoga, simply so they are out of the way. I had waiting on Monday to do them when we got back from the beach and it was almost 10 at night before I finished with everything. Geesh. I'm not planning on doing that again. Done, out of the way and showered. That's how I prefer to do them!

I think I'm getting antsy about not weighing in however. I reallly wanted to weigh in this morning, and that's kind of weird. Haha. I guess cheating at the beach was a bad thing. Although with the way I've been eating, I don't really want to know the last couple of days. But then again, I kind of do.

I went shopping for some shirts yesterday and came home empty handed. I didn't want to spend the money if I wasn't completely in love with the shirt. Which I suppose is good for me? I mean yeah, I'm trying to watch my money, but it's so dang hot right now, that I am looking for some more tanks and I'm not finding them. And I fall back into the mentality of 'but I am going to lose weight and I won't even be using this shirt next year.' So I walked away. I wasn't entirely happy with the shirts that I could have gotten and I didn't want to go up any bigger in size. I ended up getting some bras that were the same size even though I should have gone up a band size, but they didn't have any. So um any waist whittling exercises that work quickly anyone? Haha. 

I'm thinking for August that I'm going to come up with my own challenge. I really liked the idea of having a workout set up and just doing it. And that the squat thing was so simple. So I'm gonna go explore pinterest a bit and see if I can come up with something to do. Something that incorporates more working out, and not just squats ;) Although I am surprised that I don't actually mind them. Of course the ones with the kicks I kind of mind haha. But only cause I have to do more. And I will see what comes of 200 squats every time would do. I mean it takes me about 20 minutes to do them without an additional workout. Oy. I can see how people easily can do 2 hour workouts LOL. I just have to find a way to do it and do it in the heat. Maybe I will have to do an am/pm kind of thing. I will have to see.

So I guess I'm off to figure something out :0)

Wednesday Weigh in week 82/30 day Squat challenge week 3

I realized that when I was heading to vacation that I hadn't posted my Wednesday weigh in post AGAIN last week. This no scale thing is throwing me off. Starting to feel like a broken record. Still need to reign in the eating, but still doing the challenge ;)

30 day squat challenge is going surprisingly well! I have finished them every day! The most I have done a day is 150. Tomorrow will be 160. And to think next Tuesday will be 200! I'm almost done with the challenge and that's kind of what excites me the most. Starting it and FINISHING it! And to say that I've done 200 squats today would be something else too ;) I have noticed that my knees are feeling better. Especially going up and down stairs. I even did my squats while we were on vacation. Ok. Nothing like hiding out from 21 of your closest family members and working out ;) Plus we did a lot of walking while we were there. So I felt pretty good. And I think with doing the challenge that I was able to walk better. My knees and my legs weren't bothering me as much. And let me tell you, there were a lot of hills/stairs in this town.

I did some crazy things this week. Haha. One of them was that we went on a whale watching adventure while we were there. Now I've gone to this town so many times and I don't think I've ever gone out on the boat before. So we paid our money, got on the boat and away we went. We were told up front was the best place so obviously my friend and I went there ;) Well for an hour it was all fun. We actually saw a whale several times! And had the coolest tour guide. Well he told us that when we turned around that we up front were going to get pretty wet. Most everyone left and went to the back. Do you think we went back. Uh no. My friend and I got COMPLETELY drenched. I'm talking head to toe soaked. We screamed and laughed the whole way back. And then felt like I had gained 10 pounds because of my jeans being soaked. Needless to say we had to go back to the house to change before we went out and did anything else :0)

And then we ended up at Ripley's Believe it or not. Where believe it or not, I cheated on my no scale summer. Yeah. I'm just gonna go ahead and admit it. I could have covered the part where it said what I weighed on the earth. But I glanced over. Needless to say I weigh 90 pounds on the moon and about 12 pounds on Pluto. Which doesn't even count because it's not a planet anymore. But whatever. I do have to say I was a little disappointed. You know how you automatically start justifying in your head. Well I have to take off 2 pounds just for clothes and oh jeez, this is a heavy sweatshirt because it's only 60 degrees here and blah blah blah. And it was in the middle of the day and yada yada yada. So so far I haven't gone down a whole lot. BUT the number was lower than the last time I weighed in. So that's at least a bonus!

Needless to say, we just got back from vacation a few hours ago, and I'm not ready to go back to the real world. But I have to. I have to say I have a little fear about posting my pictures on my blog. I need to figure out a little watermark thing before I'm gonna do that, but I do want to post some soon. Goals goals goals :0)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 79

Well, I am here to say that week one of do not weigh myself and not stress about weigh in came and went...and I don't think it went very well?

But then again, I am my own worst critic.

On the bright side of it all, I did manage to get a workout in! Oh man. I'm pretty sure it's the first time that I have worked out in the last 3 months maybe? I don't know. At any rate, I got my garmin all charged up, and my new running shoes on, and I went for a walk around my block. Haha..So the area that we just moved into, is kind of like a huge rectangle. So I walked the huge rectangle, expecting it to be around 3 miles. Well I was close..it ended up being 2.5 miles. Which still isn't horrible. I was hoping for 3 miles. For some reason in my head 3 miles seems like a minimum workout to me? Like if I don't get 3 miles in it's not worth it?

I'm weird..I know.

I let emotional eating get the best of me this week. I seriously need to buckle down, for my body and for my credit card's sake ;) I'm getting pretty determined to go all hard core on my diet again and seriously cut the dairy and gluten out. And eggs when at all possible. I mean I know eggs are baked into things. But if I can avoid most of that too, I will be doing good. I have been really hesitant pinning things on Pinterest because it's just a lot of dang work. It requires separate meals from my entire family. They have no desire to go gluten free. Nor do they need to. I don't really need to per se, but if I think about the blood type diet, gluten isn't good for my blood type. And I need to find an easy breakfast solution. Cinnamon sugar toast just ain't cutting it anymore. But a no gluten, no dairy, and no egg breakfast that's easy to make? Umm, I really have no desire to eat oatmeal every day. I did that once for a challenge and I really haven't touched the stuff again.

But back before I even knew I was allergic to all that stuff, and I cut it out at the beginning of the year because I thought I had Candida. I dropped almost 25 pounds in 3 months! So if I can wrap my head around that and remember those things. Yes, making and buying my own food is going to be hard. But if in the next half a year, since that's what I have left this year. But if I could lose 50 pounds in the next 6 months that would be amazing! And really it's quite do-able. So yeah. That's what I NEED to be doing.

So I'm thinking about being very stupid and starting a squat challenge next month. It's something I pinned that takes you in a month ending up doing 200 squats a month. Um yeah. I hate squats. But I want strong knees. And a strong backside really helps with running :0) So basically there are 5 squats that it has you do and you end up doing so many of them a day. In the end you do 10 reps of all 5 squats 4 times and that's your 200 squats a day. Sounds interesting enough. But can I do it? 3 days of squats and then a day of rest. And then it just repeats itself. I don't know if my back can handle it or not, or even my knees. I guess I don't have to go very deep if I can't handle it. But I'm really in the mood to start a challenge and finish it! Dang it. And I kind of liked this one? Oddly enough...for me who hates squats ;)

So in a way, I'm glad I didn't weigh myself today. I'm intrigued by the idea of doing all the work (which I will be getting myself to do) and not looking for the reward. Not looking for the payout. Not trying to live my life based on the 3 digit number I see staring back at me. To get out there and life my life. Not in fear of what that number will be when I get back on the scale in September. But to realize it doesn't define me. That number isn't Dena. It might be what I weigh. But it's not my personality. It's not my smile, my mind. My anything. Culture seems to think it should define me. But I'm about to defy culture right now in the next 3 months. Will I hate all my clothes. Absolutely. I'm in the process of trying to pick out a new sports bra. I'm quite up there. Let me tell you. And the wearing 2 sports bras thing I got going on right now isn't working so hot. I ended up bleeding from my broken one. No Bueno. But can I get myself to spend the money on it? Oh geez. I wish I could go to the store and pick one out and try it on. But just like my shoes and wide width. They just don't go carrying DDD sports bras in the store. Hello Amazon. /end rant.

Speaking of shoes!! I bought 3 pairs this week! My running shoes came in. Which I am ecstatic to say they have PURPLE in them! I have never in my life owned a "cute" pair of running shoes. All the shoes I have ordered have been grey and blue or white and blue. Well I think I about scared the guy at the running store when he opened the box and I let out a squeal about them being grey and purple. I have cute running shoes! He mumbled something about them having new colors every year and something something..but yeah. I am excited. And then I just happened to try this pair of sandals on at Payless Shoesource. Now granted I haven't been able to fit into their shoes for a good 10 years (since I worked there). Well I slipped these on and to my shock and surprise they fit me too. They are a little to long in front, but that's ok. I ended up buying the tan pair that day. (2 pairs of shoes in one day?!?) And then I went back the following day and got a black pair. This never happens to me. I would just like to say. I pretty much just doubled the amount of shoes that I own in 2 days. I have 3 pairs that I wear consistently: a pair of flip flops (men's cause they fit better), a pair of backless clog type slip on casual shoe, and my running shoes. Then I have the nice dress shoes I just bought for the wedding I went to in April, and 2 other sandal dress shoes. I felt like such a girl coming home with all these shoes. Anyways. That was a joy for me this week haha..

And I am happy to report that I am just about unpacked and all moved into my new house (at least my PERSONAL stuff is). I have found a place for all my stuff, or it is conveniently hiding behind a door or in a drawer for me to sort through later. I have a friend coming to hang pictures with me tomorrow and everything will have its place. It's kind of exciting.

Now that I've rambled on ;) I am going to do a yoga thing on youtube and go to bed! I have woken up so stiff lately, that I want to see if this will help me at all, It's 20 minutes of gently stretching. Nothing bad :)

Wednesday weigh in Week 74

A funny thing happened on the way to today's weigh in...

It didn't happen.

I got my scale out of my bedroom, and put it on the floor and stepped on it, and it didn't turn on. I think I had set some stuff on top of it when I put it away last week and it must have left the battery going....so at any rate I think the battery died. I've never had that happen and so naturally I didn't have batteries on hand for it. And the screw driver to unscrew the spot.

So I didn't weigh in. Which I guess isn't a bad thing. I was very worried about my weigh in anyway. LOL. So I guess not seeing a number wouldn't depress me any. And it's just been rough moving this month. I haven't had time to cook my lunches, so I've been eating out every day for the last 3 weeks. I'm really sick of Dairy Queen by the way. Dang them and their $5 dollar lunch ;) And coffee has been my friend. And I've slowly seen the scale creep back up. And I really wasn't looking forward to the number today.

So lo and behold it didn't happen. I think I'm at my breaking point physically. I'm back to being unable to do things. Like kneel down or squat. Even walking up the stairs is giving me trouble. I'm achy and itchy and uncomfortable in my clothes. And I haven't seemed to have found the "re-motivating" factor. Like all of that won't do it for me? I don't really know. I guess I'm just super stubborn in that area. I can't have someone tell me what to do. I have to do it myself, and figure it out myself. I'm weird like that. I have to do it myself when it comes to working out. I guess if I'm super excited I will do it with friends. But I kinda prefer to do it solo? I'm odd I guess. Of course who am I kidding. I haven't worked out in months! I definitely de-railed a while back and I haven't been able to get back on course. I'm off work in 2 weeks for 11 weeks (Hello Summer break!!) and I'm hoping to use that time to get back into my groove and get going. I've got to get myself into a routine again. One that I can figure out how not to break when my life gets super crazy.

Because I know it will. :0)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 73

I'm just going to assume right now that my computer won't upload my picture like the last two weeks and just tell you what my weight was. I'm in complete and utter I don't care moments right now. I'm still going back and forth between two houses trying to box up yard sale stuff that didn't sell and get the rest of what we think we want to keep to the new house. I think quite literally for the last two weeks I have eaten out every day for lunch simply because I didn't have time to make lunches during the weekend. I am so extremely sick of fast food right now it's not even funny! Yet I have another super crazy weekend and I don't know if I will have the time or the energy to do it this weekend for the 3 days that I need a lunch next week. I already know one of the days we are going to lunch because we don't have kids that day. School is almost out. We have 8 days left with our kids. It's crazy to think that but we do. Well 9 days I guess. But tomorrow shouldn't count LOL!

239.4. I am exactly 1 pound away from where I started this blog in 2011. Ouch. And still I am in survival mode. I haven't switched out yet, and I'm not sure that I will before school gets out. I know this summer is going to be all about refocusing and getting myself back on track.

So I'm just hoping for the next 3 weeks that I can keep it under 240. That's the goal for right now anyway.

Wednesday Weigh in Week 72

Oh. my. gosh. So I moved houses on Saturday (same area, different house) and we discovered when we went to turn the A/C on that it in fact did NOT turn on. So we have naturally been in a heat wave, I'm talking 90-95 degrees this week. Today I saw the thermostat reach 89 in my house. The landlady has had 2 people come out to give her quotes to tell her it is in fact dead Jim. :0) So I'm so hoping we get a new one by this weekend. It's supposed to be 97 on Saturday. oh. my gosh. Heat is not my friend. The poor boys have had such a hard time falling asleep. Tonight I put them to bed with an ice pack under their pillow cases. And the one on the top bunk is on the floor.

end rant.

So let's see if the picture posts this time, I'm at the same weight I was last week. Still high. But ok for now. I will be for sure figuring out how to start losing weight again. My knee is bothering me so badly right now. I know part of it is because of the weight. :( I wasn't supposed to gain all my weight back :(

The rest of this month is going to be crazy. We have to have a yard sale this weekend, and still get everything moved out of the house by the next weekend. So the weekend after that we can take a train to Portland to have some fun :0) And then the week after that school will be out and I will be in full force summer! Woo-hoo! I can't wait!

Nope. no picture. I wonder if I can edit it from my phone and add it. We will see.

Wednesday weigh in Week 68

So as I was eating dinner last night, realizing that I was weighing in today I decided that it wasn't my most brilliant idea to eat so much sodium yesterday. And yep. Up on the scale. Go figure. Not surprised at all this morning...

So I am trying something new. It's called a soy latte. ;) I finally bought some soy milk to try to make a latte at home with it. I have tried just about every other kind of milk to try to make them with so I'm not drinking cows milk. I have just been rather hesitant about drinking soy. But I decided I was spending too much money (and calories) at the coffee shop and I just really needed to make my coffee at home again. Since I obviously haven't given it up. I did however go back to decaf. I have determined that too much caffeine will make my heart hurt. Like it's just tight. So I have switched to decaf. And hope that will help. Well lo and behold my first latte wasn't horrible. It didn't change the flavor of the drink too much. Not to mention it has less calories than milk but that was never really the issue. Except when I was buying an iced coffee at the coffee house and getting more than half a cup a day :0) But it still makes a decent cup of coffee for the girl allergic to milk. And now that I am making it at home again I will be saving a lot of calories. Good grief, I don't need all that syrup. Especially when I have good coffee ;) Like Stumptown. I have gone back down to about 3-4 teaspoons of syrup instead of 3-5 pumps. At any rate it works :) And maybe I will get used to it. I still don't think I would drink a cup of soy milk by itself..but for coffee...not the worst thing in the world.

Wednesday Weigh in Week 66

Well the good news is my back isn't hurting anymore. After some prayer and a really good friend massaging my back for me, I'm feeling pretty good! She got several knots out of my back. I'm seriously blaming the 38 squats in one minute game I played. But I'm going to be really careful to start working on my lower back and getting my core strengthened.

Bad news: I ate 3 boxes of girl scout cookies. Well Ok. I gave the last sleeve to a friend. But I consumed way more shortbread in the last what? week and a half? Then I have all year. Good news? They are all gone :0)

Good news. I lost almost a pound. I'm pretty sure I peed it out yesterday when I spent the majority of the day in the bathroom. TMI I know. Just keeping it real.

Bad news: 2 week plan fell apart when back got hurt. Haven't really gotten back into it. I did take full advantage of the lovely weather we've been having and went for a 2 mile walk with my 9 year old brother. 2 miles in 50 minutes. Not my best time of course, but I had a small squirrely child with me. We stopped. Several times. So I haven't really kick started my routine back yet. And I need to get back on it. So much for the 12 pounds I was gonna lose ;) But it will happen!

Great news: It's almost spring break! 10 more hours of work and I'm on to a full week off!

Wednesday Weigh in Week 61

I'm telling you. These weeks just fly by. Here it is Wednesday again. I would love to say that I started over and lost a bazillion pounds and life is all better. But that didn't happen. Instead I got sick. So instead of enjoying my 3 day weekend. I spent it mostly in bed. Well at least on Monday it was. Saturday I spend shopping for a new mattress. The one I have is shot. All I feel is the springs when I lay down and wake up with an aching back. Conveniently President's Day weekend is a great weekend to buy mattresses. Let's see. I "saved" about 400.00 on a twin size mattress. Why on earth would I normally spend over 700.00 on a twin size without a sale? Um I wouldn't. Thankyouverymuch. But me and my credit card found a nice sale, and in a week and a half or so I should be sleeping so much better :) Much better than the air mattress that I have been sleeping on for the last few days.

This actually excites me. Maybe if I start sleeping better I will be more alert and awake and feel rested to actually be able to work out :) That would be an excellent theory I would think.

All in all it's been a quite PMS-y week. I don't normally say that out loud, but hey, I'm not gonna sit here and make excuses for why I gained weight this week. I have had lots of sodium and that times a-coming. 

Although this week's weigh scares me. I am 9 pounds away from what I weighed when I started this blog. So far I haven't found the motivating factor to stop the yo-yo trend and make it go down. You would think finding out my food allergies would do that. Nope. Or weddings. Well that worked for a bit last year. Hasn't quite worked this year. I haven't grasped "The Reason" to lose weight. I can pin and post all the inspirational things that I want and find. But something hasn't sunk deep inside yet. I just have me. And for some reason, me isn't worth it in my head enough. Because I know I have to do it for me. But I always seem to want an external factor. A goal. A reason. And I'm gonna need some more accountability. I mean let's be real here. I haven't worked out since I ran the 5k. And so that's been about 3 weeks. Yikes.

So now I'm getting over what little gunk I had. Its the weirdest thing. I just started having a sore throat on friday, and by Sunday my voice was completely gone. Nothing much else. I've been coughing, and I lost my voice. Thankful it's not the flu. But I kind of need a voice for my job. So here it Wednesday. I'm thinking I should go back to work tomorrow and friday. I should be able to handle a day and a half of work....

Wednesday Weigh in Week 57

I'm pretty sure our bodies are just weird. Just the way they choose to either hang onto weight or to let it go. This week I didn't do a whole lot and lost 1.6 pounds. Alrighty. Haha. I will take it.

Our weather is just getting crazy around here. It's been super cold, and lots of stagnant air warnings. I'm really glad we didn't have school the last two days. And then today of all day starts the freezing rain and wanna be snow. Now I'm all for winter, but I want it generally on my terms. I want a white Christmas, and snow on Christmas break when I have to drive in it. Then it can warm up. But I don't want any more snow by the time my birthday comes around. Yep. Coming up on Monday, I will be hitting 32. Yikes. 31 wasn't all that kind to me. I'm hoping 32 is gonna go a whole heck of a lot better. But generally by February, I'm itching for spring. And no school cancellations because we want that 4 day weekend in May. Thankyouverymuch winter.

:) I don't have a whole lot to report this week. It was a bit of an emotional weekend, but I think I did alright with not eating myself out of sight. There was a Dairy Queen night involved, and a coffee. But sometimes you just have to give in a little you know?

Happy New Year to me? Getting ready to register for my 12k. And gotta get training for that. I'm hoping to run more of it than walk. Which means I've got to start hitting some hills. I remember whenever I get there that it's got way more hills than I remember. And it's pretty dang crowded, so I don't know how much running I will actually get to do. My time last year was 2:30ish and I would love to be able to do it in 2 hours, but that would be a throw up goal ;) So I'm thinking 2:15 would be nice. If I could stick between a 16-18 minute pace that would be good for sure! I just have to get my *ahem* running buddy on track with me ;)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 55

 

And another week of....

Success again! (And cute toes ;) I really gotta get that polish off my feet!)

I really don't know how I managed that one, because I didn't work out so much at all. And it's Wednesday. And I haven't worked out at all this week!! Man. Some weeks are just like that! But I have been trying to be really good about no dairy. Even though at this particular moment it's KILLING me! I so badly want some ice cream right now it's not even funny. Or some coffee. That would be nice right about now too. It's hard to get rid of things for good.

I can tell things in my body are shifting. Even if it's only been 3 pounds. The pants are fitting a little different and the cheekbones are starting to show again. It's an encouraging little sign of progress. Especially since the button came off my jeans yet again and I am down to one pair of pants that fit that I can wear to work. That smaller pant size has to come soon or I'm gonna get tired of wearing the same pants ;)

I got to wear my new shoes today. My sister got them for me for my birthday. That's one of the things that I do look forward to the most is my feet shrinking so I can actually walk into a store and buy a pair of shoes without having to order them from online :( Oh what a happy day that will be.

Sorry for the short post, but I've got to get back on a better sleep schedule. Christmas break really threw me off, and now I have dogs that I have to take care of in the mornings while my sister is off traveling for work. Never a dull moment I tell you what....

Wednesday Weigh in Week 53

Alrighty Steph. There ya go, Week 53 ;)

Well Christmas is over and done with. Man the day after Christmas sometimes seems like a major letdown! You have this giant build up to Christmas and deadlines and making sure all the presents are bought (or at my house made) and wrapped and food is made and then it happens. And then you wake up the day after Christmas. And you eat all your Christmas candy to "get rid of it" because January 1st is coming you know, and there is a New Year's resolution just waiting to be made and broken. I mean I literally have consumed way more amounts of sugar today than a person should. Well actually I have consumed way more in the past 3 days. No wonder I have a headache right now. This sugar coma is going to be a doozy to get rid of.

But I did manage to get up this morning and weigh myself before the boys got out of bed. I *only* gained .6 pounds last week. Which brings my year end total to 12 pounds.

12 pounds.

That's not exactly Finishing What I Start. But I am fully aware of my actions and I am not really making any excuses for them. I didn't workout like I should have and I didn't eat like I should have. And there you go. I didn't lose weight. Although ironically enough 12 pounds is 10% of what I really wanted to lose.

I did learn a lot about myself this year though.

I learned I do really good with deadlines and goals. I had a goal to lose weight by a friend's wedding in March and I did that. But once the wedding came and I "cheated" on my eating, I never did get back eating right the rest of the year. And once again, I will be losing weight for a wedding. Though I'm not in it, I am attending it ;) And that's still the same.

I learned that I am a HUGE stress eater. When I don't know how to control things and circumstances come up that there is nothing I can do about them, I will eat. And eat. And eat. I will eat to deal with things too. Food has always been my turn to comfort. It's always been there. Even in secret. I ate due to circumstances that were beyond my control and the food was the only thing I could control. It's like I punish myself with food. It seems like it would be a reward. But a lot of times it was just how much food can I shove in my mouth before I forget about my problems...

I learned that I am allergic to a lot of foods. Which is horrifying. Because it's all foods that I love. So all this food I love is hurting my body and I still continue to eat it. Because I can't seem to give it up. Well the peanuts I  gave up immediately. I haven't had peanut butter anything since July of this year. That number was so off the charts scary I have no idea how I wasn't sick from it. But giving up milk, cheese, and ice cream and eggs is like a big sad thing. I have to learn how to say No and stick with it. And I just might see my body change.

BUT.

I also learned that I am a lot stronger than I thought. I started the Couch to 5k not once, but twice this year. The first time I did it all the way completely without missing a day. The second time I actually skipped the last two weeks almost and just got straight to running for 30 minutes. When I was really doing well I was running consistently 3 times a week. And that's good for me! Just changing and running right after work was a really good time for me. Except now. LOL. Now I get off work at 3:30 and it's getting dark by 4:15. Not enough time to get my runs in :/
 I actually enjoy the plan I made for my Bloomsday training, I just need to get back to it and stick to it. (Which I will be doing as soon as I get my gym cleaned up. It turned into extra craft room this year and has sawdust all over it because we were cutting wood inside because it was too windy outside. Now there is a layer of sawdust everywhere :/)

I learned that I kinda sorta like to run. It's definitely good me time. I have learned however that living in the desert it's hard to find a good time to run that I'm not running in 90+ weather. I had very good intentions over the summer, but I can't get up and go in the mornings when I have the boys and my mom is already at work. So we might have to work something out this summer. We will see. Spring and Fall running was amazing. Haven't made it out a whole lot this winter, but now that I have my new Garmin, I will be getting out there more. Nothing like a new toy to get you re-motivated. As well as signing up for Bloomsday. I gotta talk to my buddies and make sure it's still a go. I know none of us have been following the plan hardly at all. But there is still 5 months to go, and I know I will be ready by then :)

So the goal over the next few days is to not continue to beat myself up mentally over not completing my goal. I am lighter slightly than I was last year. And that's good. I just need some determination to stick around and the willpower to accomplish what I want to. January is the time of year where I get all hard core about this. And then I usually taper off about March. So the goal is to make it through to April :) And beyond. The magic number every month is 9 LOL! 9 pounds a month. Seems so easy peasy on paper. I just need it to be easy peasy in life. I will of course be coming up with some new goals. I know I am going to have to make eating goals and working out goals every month to make this work for the next year. But I am a goal maker for sure. I just need to be a goal finisher..

Finishing the goal. Finishing what I start. Still happening.

<3

Merry Christmas!

Proof that Jesus loves me best ;)

1. It SNOWED today. Hey I live in a desert. And it doesn't snow a whole whole lot. I mean every few years we will get a massive storm that comes through that cancels school and sends the city in to chaos. But usually it will either snow in November and freak people out and then not snow again, or it waits until January to do it. So to actually have snow on Christmas was pretty sweet. It started around 10:30 and really hasn't stopped yet. And it's 6:30 now. But it's been a very light snow, because we have less than 2 inches on the ground. Doable for me :0) Especially since I am off for the next two weeks and don't have to drive anywhere.

2. Santa brought me a Garmin! I have to admit, I am reluctant to ask for expensive things. But I picked out a Forerunner 110. It was less than 200.00 on sale ;) I loved it when I tried out Katie's garmin when she sent it around across the country. But I don't think I'm every going to be all super crazy about running. So I don't need a ton of bells and whistles. I wanna check out the auto lap stuff and I don't think I can set it to do intervals..but I need to play around with it. It's much easier to check mileage on a garmin than it is on the mapmyrun app on my phone. But as to point number 1...it snowed meaning I won't be checking it out for a few more days. It does however give me waaaay more incentive to get back to my training for Bloomsday and to get back into a workout routine.

3. I got a new blow dryer. And shoes. And bedding. I mean this sounds kinda silly. But I love super practical gifts like those that I wouldn't be able to get for myself. It's the little things. I mean I got several other things too that I really enjoy. But these were things on my list (That I really didn't write down or anything, just in passing. Except the shoes. I specifically put those and the garmin on my pinterest board!)

I have to admit, it was a tear filled Christmas. We spent the last couple of weeks secretly working on "grandpa bears" that were made from my grandpa's shirts. We made 33 of those things for my family members that was a complete surprise. (Well except to Grandma). Right down to the last minute working on noses and stuff. We had made bears for the family when my Dad passed away in 2004. Someone decided it was a good idea again this year ;) And then my uncle separated all of my grandpa's train collection and made them into little sections for us. I know that as the years pass that his memory at Christmas will fade, but this year he left quite the impression :0)

I hope you had a very blessed Christmas! Over here we will be digging out of the little bit of snow and playing with all of our new toys. Probably won't have the best weigh in tomorrow, but I will face it like I should. I know for sure that next year I will not be pigging out like I did over the last two days. I'm pretty sure these stomach cramps that I've had all day are just a bit more proof that when I eat the foods I shouldn't be my body will be telling me that it's not ok :( Next year will be quite different!

<3

Wednesday Weigh in Week 52

Wow. A whole year. I always seem to end the year quite frustrated with myself because I never lose the weight that I wanted to. And this year is no different. Looking at a year, I managed to keep off 12.6 pounds. Which all in all I suppose is good. But I had lost 25. Blah Blah Blah. I try to not beat myself up mentally over it. So that's where the end of my year is at. ;) I have no idea why my body chooses to hold on to weight the way it does. Part of it could have been sodium. Because literally all week from Thursday to Tuesday my weight was 226.6. I mean that was almost down 3 pounds, and then it jumped back up a little bit this morning, but I had a lot of salt yesterday. And because I've been working on presents, and just having a lot to do this time of year, I haven't worked out since last Wednesday. I will definitely be getting back to that soon. I just have to get these presents made and wrapped :0) And the wind to stop. I will not be running in super crazy wind.

We are in high Christmas mode at my house! We barely got our tree up, I have no idea where our stockings are, and we are frantically trying to finish up all the presents we are making. It really amuses me when I tell people that we generally will make all of our gifts to our family. Like it's a totally crazy thing? Do you make your family their presents? I mean with my immediate family, it's usually a bought gift. But with my family that all gets together at my grandma's house on Christmas it's a homemade thing. And we are usually all like that. I have just accepted the fact that I live in a family of gift givers. Part of my family for years has tried to get us to draw names for gifts. It's just not gonna happen! Haha..We have got something pretty cool up our sleeves this year. But I'm not telling...5 more days to go!! I'm thinking Christmas might be one of the few days I actually make it to bed before midnight. If I don't go crashing a bit tonight. I still have one more part of a present that I need to get done tonight, and then I will be hitting the bed. And seeing if my body will even let me fall asleep before then.

We had a HUGE windstorm here on Monday in the very early hours. Our cities lost hundreds of trees. Like literally, we lost ours in the front yard, it fell over on my sisters car. Luckily it was a Willow, so the branches weren't all that heavy. It didn't come completely out of the ground, but the roots are tilted and exposed, meaning it's gonna have to be cut down :( And we had 3 houses across the street that all lost at least a tree apiece. One I think lost 3 or 4. So that was 6-8 trees just on my block. Several areas were without power for up to a day. We had 78 mph gusts where I live and the top of one of our mountains hit over 100 mph. It was crazy to lay there and "try" to sleep. At that point I was just praying that the tree right next to my bedroom didn't come crashing down on me! So it was a tiring day to say the least.

Question: Should I still keep track of my wednesday weigh in's next year like week 53, week 54? Or do you think that's a little much?

Have a very Merry Christmas. Enjoy your families, Enjoy the treats. Take the time to remember your ones that aren't with you, and make some new memories with the ones that are

Wednesday weigh in week 51

Woah. I can't believe that I have been doing this for almost an entire year! And I can't believe I have gained all about about 10 pounds of my weight back. This definitely wasn't how the story played out in my head in January when I was serious and started all of this. This was going to be my year, and I was finally going to do it! Flash forward to December. My mom has had surgery 3 times this year, and I have had 3 deaths in the family since October. Less than 2 months. Um yeah. I have learned this year that I definitely live by circumstances. I have periods of doing great. Especially when I have a goal! And then life throws me a curve ball, and well, Dairy Queen becomes my new BFF. The most I lost this year was 25 pounds. So 15 has crept back on. And boy can I feel it!

And I know the things I need to do. I need to quit drinking coffee. I need to quit eating dairy. I need to quit eating wheat. I know how my body feels when I don't have these things in me. Especially when I am allergic to them. It's just so. dang. hard. To all of the sudden throw out a food you have eaten your entire life. And the staples of your diet. I mean. I tell people all of the things I am allergic to and they ask me what the heck I eat. Um yeah. Not a whole lot. And then I sneak in the foods that I shouldn't be eating. And don't even get me started on exercise. Here's the thing. When I work out. I lose weight. When I don't work out? I don't lose weight. Plain and simple. Cut and dry. Well yeah. If I could just manage to stay away from all the foods that I'm allergic to, and work out 6 times a week, I would probably have it made :)

Oh speaking of running, since I really wasn't ;) I finally just jumped ahead again to week 8 of the Couch to 5k and ran for half an hour today. Well I really didn't jump ahead because it was the week I was scheduled to do it. But I haven't ran at all in the last 2 weeks. The last day I did was week 6 day 1. And today I decided since it wasn't raining, and I really needed to get back to my running, I would just go for it. And I am such a fashion crisis when I run. It's kinda just ridiculous. Blue ear warmers, red and green shirts, black pants and black gloves. Oh and a white passport belt around my waist because that's my poor girl's running belt. (I mean, I actually thought it was genius! I had a belt, and it will hold my key, phone, and other little things. And then it wasn't all in my pockets, which my capris didn't have).

But I did my 30 minute run. And the craziest thing came out of my mouth when I was done. "Well that was kinda easy!" uh yeah. Well the first mile was 19:09 and the second mile was 19:03. I apparently did really good on my breathing because I wasn't out of breath, and completely wheezing or anything like that. Either that or I just plan didn't work hard enough. But I did realize that when I run my virtual 5k for Katie's 31st birthday next month that I will have to pick up a little speed. I'm thinking I was stupid when I said I wanted to finish it in under 48 minutes I think. I'm pretty sure I forgot I was back up to a 19 minute mile and not an 17 minute one. Hmmm...How am I going to do it that fast? If I go the pace I ran today it will still take me almost an hour to run 3.1 miles.I definitely need to drop some pounds so my time will speed up :0)

I was expecting to be panting when I started my 5 minutes of cooling down..but nope. I was fine. I miss running. Of course we are getting into the cold part of winter. I don't have a treadmill. I can't afford a gym. So I am just heading outside. OH and my knee didn't hurt while I was running! That was nice. When I started my little training plan it kept twinging while I was running, and it didn't do that today. I was a happy girl.

Ok, I could just blab blab blab..so I am going to get my lunch ready for work tomorrow and head to bed. But here is my picture. of my gain. Next week will be different.

Wednesday Weigh in Week 47

Ever have one of those days where you wake up running and never quit. Yep. That was today. I got up late, second day in a row!!, and just kept on going. I was supposed to bake my Amish friendship bread today and about halfway through the day realized that that I didn't have enough flour. I confirmed that suspicion when I got home so I had to run to the library to copy the recipe and then to Winco to get some flour and to see what kind of pudding they had. Did the dumbest thing at the library. I was trying to copy real quick and didn't look to see which side the paper went on. So of course I copied nothing. Just a blank paper! Haha. I had to go back out to my car to get more change for it to recopy it. I ended up wasting .60 on it instead of .30. Oh well. And then joy of all joy's Winco had cheescake pudding. I used that in my bread mix, threw in some caramel bites that I had, put it in a 9x13 cake pan and had some yummy yummy bread/cake. Whatever you want to call it. I call it the not lose any weight bread. Next time I make it I am throwing in something chocolate so I can't eat it! It was that good tonight! Oh boy. So now it's 10 and I am ready to crash but I remembered I hadn't done my post yet. I mean of course my super busy day would be Wednesday!

So other than that fun part of the day this post will be super short today. I've already taken my melatonin and will be drifting off to sleep hopefully soon. The key is to stay asleep all night and not keep waking up in the middle of the night..

Lost less than a pound. Don't know what the deal with my body is right now. But I will get it figured out.

Now I just need my headache to hit the road and (almost) all will be better :0)

Wednesday weigh in week 46

Well I realized I got buy and didn't recap my Bloomsday training last week. I actually skipped a workout. I ended up being sick that day and wanted to run but eventually decided against it. I took a total extra day of rest. I am hopefully getting back to feeling like a normal person. Except for when I stay up until 1:00 am on election day and get up 4 hours later :/ (I am EXHAUSTED right now..short post). I have a feeling I am going to switch up next week a little bit and trade my running day and cross training day. Monday is a holiday, so I don't have work. And I can go run that day and then cross train on Tuesday and it will be good :0) Which is what I ended up doing today. I was just so beat from only getting 4 hours of sleep and being on my feet all day that I decided to rest my legs and I will cross train on Friday which was supposed to be my rest day. :-) I'm glad I can be flexible and not beat myself up when I do things like that. Whew. So that's the current update on Bloomsday!

And I don't know where the ___ 3 pounds came on from, but it did. Not really liking a 3 pound gain right now. All I can say is my stomach feels like it is full of air, and has for a couple of days. So I guess I'm not surprised, but definitely irritated. Things will be changing in my food and they will be changing quite soon. I'm thinking I pretty much have to cut out all dairy and wheat/gluten again. I've been lax in those areas. And I'm pretty sure that's the cause of it. So I need to get back to serious over here. Which is probably gonna mean no more coffee again. I just have quite the love/hate relationship with coffee. I love it, well I love it with milk and syrup..but that's the problem. I don't love it with almond milk, or coconut milk. And I'm just scared to try soy milk. So I guess it means it will have to go bye bye again. Or at least move to a social thing. Where I could have it once in a while while I'm out with a friend. But not every day like I have been. Plus it's just an added money cost that I simply don't have right now. Crazy as it seems, I should spend the money that I spend on coffee every month and spend it on real foods ;) or Vitamins even ;) What a thought! I think I'm gonna phase it out by an every other day thing for right now. I only have a few grounds left. So yeah. Maybe someday I won't be allergic to milk anymore and I will be able to enjoy coffee again. But definitely decaf. If I start drinking it again it will have to be decaf. Whole other topic LOL!

oh yeah..I said short post huh? :0)