moving day 1..

I don't like moving. At all. It's very stressful and frustrating. And that's all I'm really going to say about that. I took 3 loads to the house today and then took a load to the recycling. And I went up and downstairs probably close to 50 times. My knee is not my friend :( And I'm sure I got a good workout in today! Needless to say I took a well deserved bath with some epsom salt tonight...and the great news is I get to do it all again tomorrow!

Well minus recycling.

At least we will get a break and go to a surprise birthday party at 4...

But we have people coming to look at the house we are currently in to see if they want to rent it. I'm really not fond of the way my landlord is doing this and I wish I had gotten more of my stuff to my storage unit...but that's the way it goes. I would have preferred people to come look at an empty house and not with all our stuff in it. She doesn't have a property manager here and she lives in California..so she is just having people come and I think we are supposed to show them. I'm really not a fan. So instead of moving most of the day we are going to end up cleaning the house so it looks presentable for people to come look at it. Do you know how hard it is to move and keep the house clean? Just about impossible.

And I'm off to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow!

Progress

Well. 9 days into the new year and I'm actually feeling pretty good about how things are going. Could I be better? Of course! But I'm pleased with the decisions I've made. I've tried a new food already. Finished burning some of my CD's, I've created and have been sticking to a working out routine. I've been dairy free 4 out of 9 days. And gluten free 6 out of 9 days. And really it's not like I've horribly binged on everything dairy and gluten. For the dairy it was just the fact that I had a regular iced coffee instead of a soy one. The rest of the day was fine. And then today I had 2 cinnamon rolls. The icing I'm sure had milk in it, so I counted that as dairy today. Oh and then I had some chicken nuggets at dinner. And then the other day that I had gluten was the day I had a normal waffle in the morning because I was going to work out and hadn't gone to the store yet.And then stayed gluten free the rest of the day. I guess I forgot that I didn't start all these food goals until the second. So technically I'm one day off, but oh well.

The majority of the time I have made the right decisions and been gluten and dairy free. And I'm not angry or mad at myself. I knew that I was going to be easing myself into it. And I could tell today. I came home with a headache. Which I knew was from the food. So I can already tell that it's working. I just need to get that regular coffee down to once a week ;)

So my coworker the other day showed me a product on facebook that she had seen a picture of. It's called gluten-ease. And you are supposed to be able to take it before you eat gluten or casein. (Which is what I am allergic to) and it's supposed to help you digest the gluten or casein better and help your body with them. I'm pretty intrigued by it. At first I was a little leary about it. I don't want to be reliant on something to help me digest something I'm not supposed to be eating in the first place. But then I became curious and want to try it. Well mainly because I want to keep on drinking Dutch Bros :) I just can't handle a soy Iced kicker :( Not good at all!. So I'm probably going to end up getting some and trying it out. Not so I can get away with eating all the crap I was before, but if I want to get my coffee once a week, or if I'm in a social setting that I know I'm going to be served food I shouldn't be eating I can try it. I'm not willing to go soy everything. I can handle soy in my hot coffees. But not in cold. So yeah..that's just something that I saw. But it did have a warning saying it wasn't intended for people with Celiac's disease. I don't want to become dependent on something like that. But a little help now and them wouldn't hurt ;)

And the gym :) Oh I am quickly liking going the gym late at night. Like after 8 or almost 9. It's been pretty empty in there at that time. So I'm not fighting anyone over machines or anything like that. And I'm not being intimidated by what the people around me are doing. Except for the one guy running tonight. He had great form and was just going to town on that treadmill. I wasn't gonna get right next to him and start huffing and puffing haha!

So tonight it was Week one of c25k day 2. I'm seriously only running at a 3 mph pace. But I'm moving :) And its not hurting my knee still. Last night I was there and I did the strength training that I learned about when I went and had someone show me the machines. I was able to find most of them, but I can't remember what some of them are haha!! So I didn't get to do those ones. But it was good to get some strength training in. That's one of my weaker areas for sure. But having the clipboard there and writing down what I did is going to help me be accountable to it for sure! And then I'm not wandering aimlessly around the weights wondering what the heck to do. I'd forgotten how much I'd missed the machines! I'm looking forward into getting back into that for sure.

And I guess today I just started feeling a little smaller. It's been around a week now. I would think that I should be seeing some results. My stomach seems a little smaller, and either I really need to wash my jeans or they were fitting a little bit looser. Or it could be both. It's going to be interesting to keep going with the not weighing myself all year. I really want to know haha! But then again I don't really want to know. What if it was a much smaller number than I would have wanted? See I don't have any level of disappointment here. Only in the fact that I didn't do the goals. So I'm still thinking I'm going to be much better off in the process :)

Well I better get off to bed. I might be liking this night owl thing at the gym...but my body's internal clock is still waking me up too early! So yeah..it needs to act accordingly!

Contagious

It's also a good thing that I didn't make a goal of blogging every day ;) Because sometimes life just goes by in a blink!

So today I started my second college class ever. I woke up exhausted today. Don't you hate that when that happens? Water Aerobics kicked my butt yesterday. I LOVE my Monday night instructor. She had us doing BALLET under water and then a few minutes later we were jumping up and shooting baskets like we were playing basketball. I was highly amused. I was never one to say I was athletic when I was younger. The whole point of doing it in the water is to prove I'm not athletic..Haha..anyways. So I was pretty beat after the class and got to bed around 10:30. Needless to say 6 am came way to fast. (Just like it will tomorrow!!)

But today I went and did what I always do this time of year. Restart C25K ;) I am bound and determined to make myself a runner. I'm just a runner with a lot of breaks that's all. Yeah. That's it. And it totally just dawned on me after I got home. My knee didn't bother me one bit while I was on the treadmill. One of the reasons that I quit running on the treadmill at my grandparents house last year was that it was actually hurting my knee to run. Now granted that treadmill was ancient. (No offense Grandma) The ones at the gym are a little newer. And I kept the incline at zero. I mean c'mon. I"m gonna ease myself into this. But it didn't hurt my knee. So that's going to be encouraging as I continue to go.

Which I did in total icy conditions tonight. As I left class, ( Oh yeah, rabbit trail, I will get back to that) it had started to freeze rain/snow winter mix. Whatever you want to call it. Now it's no Polar Vortex over here...and I've got snow tires on. So I'm not too concerned about driving in it. I have driven in way worse blizzard type weather and I didn't consider this to be too bad. I got to the gym about 7:40 and there was literally like 5 people there. I'm thinking I'm gonna like going later in the evening because of the fact there is less people. I was actually expecting there to be a lot of people because it's the beginning of the year and people resolve to lose weight and all that jazz. There hasn't really been an influx of people in water aerobics and at 8 pm no one is working out. I think I picked a great gym :) I'm gonna see how crazy it is on a Saturday morning this week when I start running and THEN doing water aerobics. Cause I'm crazy like that. I needed to do 3 runs a week and I don't want to do them on back to back days. So I had to double up on one day. And well Saturday seems like a good day to do that..I'm gonna try it out this month and see how it goes.

Back to school.

Since it was the first day of class we had to do the obligatory get to know each other mixer thing. Well my teacher is very creative. We made a t-shirt out of construction paper. And we had to write our name, one word to describe ourselves, what we wanted out of the class, our favorite food, and one thing people wouldn't know about me. I secretly hate these things. So while we were at the table I said out loud..One word to describe me? And one of the gals who was in the class with me last quarter said the word "Contagious".

And it resonated inside of me.

Do people think I'm Contagious? Do they follow what I do? Does it make me able to get people to do things when they otherwise wouldn't? Does it make me a leader? Or is it just an attitude?

I WANT to be contagious. I want people to see who I am and want to be like me. I want to smile at people and have it change their day. I want to be able to walk into a room and shift the atmosphere of the room because I am there. I shouldn't be taking on the attitude of whoever is in the room. I should be creating it.

It gave me hope for this year. To learn how to be contagious. It's about getting people to catch on to what you have or what you are doing. To get people to come alongside you and be with you. To change people when they didn't even know they wanted to be changed ;)

I want to be contagious.

And I will leave you with this treat. I love Dutch Bros. Specifically the one right by my house. They literally know my order as I pull up and remember who I am. Yeah it makes me feel special ok? And as much as I need to go dairy free...DB is gonna be my dairy treat because dang it...I just can't get their soy kicker to taste good :( So today on my way to class I stopped by to get my drink. When I got to class I saw this:

It just made my night :0) Thanks DB for taking good care of me :) ❤️

Wednesday weigh in Week 104

Well. I've made the decision that I will no longer be doing Wednesday Weigh ins.  In fact this is going to be my last Wednesday Weigh in because heck...who really wants to weigh themselves on Christmas morning!

The other morning I was coaching a friend, when really I was preaching to the choir like I like to do so well. She was scared about getting to her goal weight and then worried about gaining it all back. She has done amazing and really has like 2 or 3 pounds to go before hitting goal. Maintenance scares her. I spent some time telling her that the number on the scale doesn't define her. She can't live her life in fear of gaining all her weight back because that's what will happen. We go where we look. So if all she is doing is living in fear of gaining it back then that's what she will do. But if she lives her life and stays within her points and works out to maintain what she has lost, well then barring any weird medical reasons she should be fine. To LIVE. To not be obsessed over the scale and food. You know. That sort of pep talk :0)

And then I spent the next hour applying this to my life. I'm pretty sure we do the best thinking in the bathtub right? And that's where I decided it was time to be changing this blog up. I've been blogging for 2 years now. Pretty faithfully at least once a week. ;) And well I think I've gained and lost and gained and lost and somehow I think I am about 3 pounds heavier than what I started with 2 years ago. So posting my weight isn't really doing anything for me right now. Weight loss isn't really happening. And my life seems to be suffering.

So I'm taking the year off.

I went this summer without weighing myself. And I really enjoyed it. Haha..of course. I learned that I still need accountability. But it was nice to not feel like I was controlled by the number on the scale.

So my rough draft plan is to weigh myself on the 31st of December 2013, and then not weigh myself again until January 1, 2015. (WOAH. I just wrote that! That seems weird).

Now do I expect to lose weight. Oh absolutely.

But what I want to really do is shift my life around. I have spent much of my adult life OBSESSING over losing weight. I have let it control every aspect of my life on whether I do or don't do things,and  on who I think of myself as. I see the number on the scale. I see the fat girl. I see someone who at times I can't stand to be around so why should anyone else. I have become so inwardly focused on losing weight that I really haven't done much else with my life.

So that's what 2014 needs to be about. Re-prioritizing my life.

That doesn't mean that I'm not going to forgo exercising and learning how to eat healthier. Those are very much going to be goals. They just aren't going to be the focus of my life. I'm going to sit down and make some monthly goals of things that don't pertain to weight and I want to do what my blog is all about: Finishing what I start. It's more than weight. I need to learn how to get myself off of the foods that I'm allergic to. I need to figure out how to get my toenails cleared up. I need to figure out how to lower my debt so I can move out into my own apartment. I need to figure out a schedule so I can continue going to school and getting a degree.

There is more to life than weight loss. And I am going to spend my 2014 doing that. So the blog will be different in January. Opening my life up to other goals that I need to accomplish. I might be a little more boring. Or I might not...you never know ;) It's time to restart life without a scale. Without my life depending on that number. Now I might go the whole year and not lose anything. Well that would suck. Not gonna lie. But if I end up happier and mentally healthier than that would be worth it in the end. I wanna see some goals checked off my list next year. And I believe that this is the way to do it. Some things happen for a season. And there might be a season when Wednesday weigh ins come back. And that would be great. Or it might be retired for good. Who knows. I have a year to figure that out.

Can you lose weight long term and not weight yourself? I have no idea. But I'm about to find out. It's going to be an interesting year for sure. But I am looking forward to it. I'm ready for a change, and I think this will be good for me.

So stick around and see what happens? :0)

Wednesday weigh in week 101

Well that was an interesting week! I felt very encouraged by the feedback that I got from some people on my post. I haven't posted my updates on facebook in a while, really because I haven't really been losing weight, and while yes, I still post....I just know it will only be a few people that read it. Yet I still get on here every Wednesday and post haha!!

Let's see. I got up early on Saturday and got all ready for my water aerobics class and got to the gym for them to tell me that the pool had flooded and classes had been cancelled until they got it fixed. Of course I got lots of good ribbing...um how does a pool flood? But I'm still proud of the fact that I got myself up and got to the gym..whether or not I got a workout in. And no I didn't have any other workout gear with me...I was in my swimsuit and flip flops...so I went home and showered and got on with my busy day ;) I mean I wasn't too horribly mad. I'm just getting myself into the routine of actually getting up and getting myself there...and I think it will all fall into place. I had to pretend to study for my test that I took this morning.

Sunday we had a Thanksgiving meal with our church after service..That's always fun :) I'm not to keen on potlucks because I don't really know what's in the things that people make and whether or not I'm allergic, but I did get some turkey and rice and jello and a roll.

Monday night I finally sat down and looked at the study guide for my college assessment test. I promptly freaked out and had all sorts of anxiety, pulling out my eyelashes and eyebrows and wanting to eat everything in sight. People. Math is just never going to be my friend. Don't ask me to do geometry or trig..It's just not going to happen.

Tuesday night I did my Final Presentation in my Early Childhood Education class. Well actually I had to do 2 presentations haha..but the little one I wasn't too worried about. The lesson I learned was that I need to follow up when I send something to the Teacher to print. Needless to say our songs are going to be passed out next week...;) Now I just have to finish up my songbook to turn in next week and I am officially done with my first quarter as a college student!

Which leads me to today: My dreaded COMPASS test, haha...I mean lets be real here...I graduated in 1999. So that means I really haven't done math since oh 1997? No seriously. I barely got through Algebra. And probably with a C or something..I mean I really don't remember. But somewhere along the road of life, I dumped math out and put music in. I mean that's what everyone does right? So this pretest stuff had me so worried..I slept like crap last night..But made it to my test and even got it! (I was a walk in, so people had to not show up for me to do the test). Needless to say I came out of the test with a college level in Reading and Writing. And I got into Math 84. Which is not college level ;) But the Math class that I needed to make it into. Luckily I have friends that are good at math..and we will probably be setting up some tutoring dates in the near future when I get into my Math class...I'm hoping it will be offered over the summer...that would be a good time while I'm not working to be able to do that...anyways..I'm so glad it's over with and now I can get registered for some more ECE classes...after I fill out my FASFA again and get some financial aid! Cause I can't pay for college myself! Haha!!

I'm still hovering right around the same weight..I'm suspecting it's the sodium and milk. I got pretty busy last week and only got one workout in. And this week, well I'm just not going to be doing any workouts in the pool...and that's all I'm gonna say about that. But I'm super glad the pool is back up and I will be in class for sure on Monday night...not so sure about Saturday.

I do know that Thanksgiving is not super tempting for me..Never really has been. Let's see..I will eat turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls, and some jello. Well I did buy a dulche de leche cheesecake thing to make..That just might put me over the edge! Haha..but I've never been into all the sides and stuff..I don't even like gravy! I'm not a big overeater on Thanksgiving..I don't even like pumpkin pie! And I'm not big on fruit pies either. And once the peanut butter and chocolate went away, well what do you know...Christmas is another story however...I will devour those almond bark covered pretzels like nobody's business..

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Wednesday weigh in week 100

Wow. 100 weeks makes it seem so long. I feel like I've been doing this for a long time. Haha..But then again I have. Almost two years. Scary to think that I am back to my highest weight again after two years. It makes me want to get all sad and melancholy just thinking about it. But I'm not going to. :0)

I just have to say. I am really loving my Aqua Cardio class. AKA Water Aerobics. Yes..You can sweat in the swimming pool. But after coming to class 3 times, the instructor has told me that she is really impressed with how well I am doing and keeping up. I seriously haven't taken any type of water aerobics class in about 10 years. And some of the moves I still struggle with, but I will get them figured out. And the people in the class are really nice and friendly. Ok. Not gonna lie, sometimes I'm the youngest one in the class...and it's fun being in with all the older crowd. And there are all types of people there. From skinny to ultra obese. From the teenager to the woman who literally brought her motorized wheelchair scooter thing into the pool area and parked it and got into the water. You know the thought never really crossed my mind that there would be a ton of obese people in the class. But there is. And yes I'm one of them. I'm pretty sure I'm classified as morbidly obese. I mean I need to lose 116 pound just to be at the very top end of the "normal" BMI range. I'm only 5'1 and I weight 248 pounds. Sometimes I really don't know how I function. But I do. And my goal really is to be around 115 pounds. It's always just been the number in my head. I mean probably somewhere between 115-118 probably...but still that means I need to lose almost 135 pounds. That's an entire person you know? I have 90 pounds to lose before I'm not even obese anymore. That's the real kicker. I have to lose almost 100 pounds before I'm not obese.

But I can't wait for that day. I dream about that day. Look forward to that day.

And then I sleep in. And only go the gym twice a week. (Hey THAT'S even an improvement!) And I drink milk in my coffee, and eat macaroni and cheese. And frosted sugar cookies from Heaven, or Hell depending on which way you look at it. ;) And mostly it's out of convenience. Trying to prepare healthy food is hard. And timely. And I really just got tired of eating lettuce and brown rice every day you know? So I'm still learning the balance of it all.

But I was super proud of myself on Monday. Not only did I go work all day, I then went straight to the college to meet with my Adviser to come up with a plan for me finally going to college. (yep 32, first time college student...hello!) I got in my car at 5:45 after my meeting...Well Aqua Cardio starts at 6. And it was almost 15 minutes away. Well I had a choice to make right there...I could have chosen to go home. Eat dinner. Relax, work on homework. Or I could have busted my butt to get to the gym and get to the class that was the whole reason I signed up for the gym.

I chose to go to the gym.I told myself in the car as I was leaving. "I need to make this my habit, make it my routine." I pulled in the parking lot at 5:56 I think. See I hate being late for things. I changed like Superman and I was in the water at 6:02. She was just barely starting the warm up routine and I worked out super hard. The instructor even commented after that class that she could tell I was working hard cause my cheeks were going red. And I just get super focused. Haha...I'm kinda competitive with myself :0) But with water aerobics its really sink or swim (hahahahahahaha). You don't really have someone really explaining moves to you. You just have to watch and learn (which can be really hard underwater I might add). But so far the teacher and students have been really great to help me and I have enjoyed throwing myself out there and jumping into to a situation I normally wouldn't.

I hate doing group things alone. I hate being late.And I always used to think that I don't really talk to strangers. But I do. And it's kind of weird.  But somehow I find myself in these situations where I'm by myself and I have to meet new people. But I guess you get over that in a swimsuit in a pool with 20-30ish other fat(ish)  people trying to take care of themselves. It's like a small little family that I am learning to be a part of. Some people will come and go, but I hope to be one of the ones who stick around for a while. Because I really like that hot tub ;)

The only thing about the class that I don't like is that I am STARVING about half an hour to an hour after I am done. I am pretty much not eating until 8:00 for dinner, after I have some time in the hot tub and then shower and blow dry my hair and stuff..so by then I'm pretty hungry. Sad to say after my second class I was hiding my pop tarts in the locker room praying that no one would see me to judge me haha..Baby steps..baby steps people...

So that's my week 100 update. Did I think that this was going to be where I wanted to be? Oh heck no. I wanted to be at my goal weight right now...Looking good with a whole new wardrobe. Maybe by week 200 that will be the case.

But for now, I'm just gonna celebrate small things, like a swimming pool and a hot tub...

Wednesday weigh in week 99

Wow...I've been at this for 99 weeks. Scary LOL! I wish I could say I've made my goal and all that jazz..but I haven't. It's a learning process for sure.

In great news! I made it to a water aerobics class finally. I learned that I don't want to eat dinner beforehand however. It's called Water cardio and it lives up to its name. I also learned I need to scoot down and not be in the shallow shallow end. It still hurt my knee some..so I got some tips from the instructor. Somehow telling the instructor and all the other people there that it's my plan to come every Monday night should help me get there right? Right. But I was secretly excited. She came by to show me how to do stuff and I had caught on pretty quick. She kept telling me I was a pro for it being my first time. I guess most new first timers struggle a bit. But I literally just jumped on in. And I was definitely sore from it yesterday. My goal is to be there Mondays and probably Saturday mornings. Who knew Saturdays had mornings right? ;0) Haha...But I joined the gym to be able to use the pool. And that's what I plan on doing. Speaking of that. I am going to sit down this week and make up a workout plan for the next 90 days. I will take a picture and post it before next week so you can see it. See now I have told you, and you will keep me accountable to that too :0)

In not great news I gained 1.2 pounds back. Not surprised with the way my tummy has been feeling lately...I think I'm a little ahem backed up. Makes all the difference in the world ;) Sad. but true.

This week has been an odd work week. Monday was a holiday. Tuesday I only worked half day. Tomorrow I work a half day and I'm taking Friday off. It was supposed to be our conference week, however my teacher has just gotten off jury duty. So now we have 19 conferences to reschedule, and not a whole lot of work to be done this week. But after the craziness of last week it was nice this week to have a break. I can't complain too much. I mean we do have Thanksgiving and Christmas Break coming up soon. I only work 15 days in December. Then we get two weeks off. So we really don't have a lot of time with the kids in the next 6 weeks. We only have 6 more days with them in November. SO yeah.. 21 days with the kids for the rest of the year. CRAZY! This year has gone by so so fast. Rather scary.

Wednesday weigh in week 98

Wednesday: No Excuses!!

Thursday: Massive sore throat/headcold/fever and taking Nyquil and Sudafed for the next 6 straight days.

Well that pretty much sums up my week, along with TOM. Yep. Hows that for no excuses?!? Hahahaa. Life is funny guys..so funny. I managed to go to bed without the nyquil last night but I'm still stuffy and took sudafed once today. And to top that all off my co-worker was also sick and could either one of us take a day off? Oh no. You know why? Because our teacher is serving on a jury for the next two weeks. Well this week and next week. Meaning we don't get to take time off. Haha. Good thing next week is conferences and we don't have kids. This has been the longest. week. ever. One more day with kids and then we are done. Whew. Some weeks I don't know how I get by. Oh yes I do. Coffee. :0) I was halfway good this week and had soy most of the time. I have thrown some milk in there in my iced coffees.

All in all I managed to lose 1.8 pounds this week. I mean really I'm an expert at losing and gaining the same two pounds. I mean yeah. I'm feeling quite sassy right now haha..I should really just shut my mouth and go to bed.

Well Katie officially freaked me out today in her post. She mentioned there was 11 1/2 weeks until her birthday and she was thinking of doing her virtual 5k again. Well my birthday just happens to be 3 days after hers. So my birthday is in 12 weeks roughly from today. C-R-A-P. Please Jesus I don't want to turn 33 weighing over 200 pounds. But losing 47 pounds in 12 weeks. Is that realistic? Nope. I don't think I can really justify or figure out how to lose 4 pounds a week. That's just not healthy. I really need to do a lot of reflecting soon on why I eat the way I do and what to help combat that. I'm also going to come up with a plan for going to the gym. I told a friend who is thinking of doing p90x for the 90 day challenge that I would make up my own challenge and do a 90 day thing with her. My birthday is in 82 days from today. So I wouldn't even be done with a challenge by then. But it's going to be good to come up with something. Oh geez. That makes me want to do it right now haha..But right now I need to be getting my little self in bed. I have one more day with kids this week...I can do this haha!!

At any rate. I'm getting back in the game. Mentally and physically. One of these days I'm going to make it to the water aerobics class. Which is part of the whole reason that I signed up for the gym in the first place! Haha..gotta make it happen :0)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 94

Oh it's that pesky time of the month. You know...the time where you join the gym on Saturday and then can't make it to water aerobics on Monday. The one that causes you to gain a pound. Yeah. It's that time of the month. But luckily it was only a pound. Haha...

I swear the week just tends to fly by. And before I know it it's Wednesday again. And I haven't done any sort of weight loss attempt at all ;) LOL!

I'm looking forward to making a routine for the gym. To have set nights or times and just go. And having pool time. Haha...Maybe I'm just weird like that. I'm more excited about having a gym with a pool than I am about working out on the machines. Although I am excited about the machines too. I need to go back and get an appointment made for someone to show me how to use all the machines in the gym. That way I know what I need to be doing for each of them and I don't avoid machines because I don't know what the do. Needless to say I'm a little bit excited. :)

We made some yummy chicken alfredo tonight. Yes. It's out of a box. And yes it has milk and cheese in it. Did I mention it was yummy? And cheap. And I wanted to try it? And it has Velveeta? Yah yah yah. All those things I shouldn't have. Such is life. Dairy is a hard hard thing to get rid of completely. But not as hard as garlic :(

Sorry it's super short, It's late and I reaaallly need to get to bed.

Wednesday Weigh in week 91 snd 92

No excuse.

Oh well. So I didn't come up with any recipes. And honestly not weighing myself has really thrown off my wednesday posts.  But next week I will be having a weigh in! My no scale summer ends on Monday. And then I will be resuming my weekly weigh ins. I'm actually pretty dang proud of myself. I really only "weighed" myself once this summer. And that was while I was at the beach on a scale at the museum telling you what you weighed on all the planets. So I mean I really didn't look too long and hard at it. But what I can say is that I don't feel like I have lost anything. I'm still in the same size of clothes and nothing feels different. So it's a double edged experience. Yeah for not being addicted to the scale. Boo for not feeling like I lost anything. But I will find out for sure on MONDAY when I weigh myself. I am pretty proud of myself for not weighing in. There were a few times this summer that I actually wanted to. But I held off. And I mean it's not like I hid my scale or anything. It's in the same spot in my room that it always is. And I haven't gotten on my sister's scale, which is just out in her bathroom when I have been taking care of her dogs while she has been gone. I just simply haven't done it. It's a bit of a self discipline lesson. I mean. Once I set my mind to some things I can be as stubborn as can be. I haven't quite figured that out with food though. I cave. All. the. time.

I'm toying with the idea of joining a gym. Me who hasn't worked out in weeks. Haha..But it's really only 21.00 a month. And get this...it has a pool and a hot tub! Um. Why wouldn't I do that? Especially for that cheap a month. I would be ok with only going 3 times a week for that price. It's not bad at all. It's a little further away, but it has a water aerobics class I can do one evening a week, and then I can do weights and stuff. I think both of my coworkers are going to join too, so it will be kind of fun :0) I'm a little excited at the thought of going back to a gym. Especially with a pool and hot tub!

And I officially started my first college class ever last night. Yeah I'm a late starter considering I'm 32 and everything..but I needed it for my job, so it's a continuing education of sorts. I'm taking an Early Childhood Education class. Music and Movement. I'm basically going to use it to see if I want to go back for the whole degree...It's gonna be interesting!

Oh and Stephanie :-) if you see this. I decided to join you in the redhead movement ;)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 86

Do you ever have days where you just wake up just feeling smaller? I mean I know they are rare, and far and few in between hahaha!

But today was one of those days! I woke up and just felt different. So I grabbed my tape measurer and sure enough. My meausrements around my belly button was -1 inch! Maybe all these workouts are starting to actually do something ;) I mean I have no idea weight wise what I weigh. I'm gonna go with close to the same because my pants aren't really much looser. Or anything like that. I'm not tugging to keep my pants up or anything. But I've noticed with all the squats that my hips feel a bit better and my stomach was feeling better today :0) So I guess the patience is just waiting for the weight to come off. I have now worked out for 14 days in a row! I mean, I guess I'm not exactly eating all my workouts back, but I figure I should be seeing some sort of results by now right?

That would be my guess. As of tomorrow, I will be halfway(ish) done with my workouts for the month. That's good, cause I'm getting kind of tired of them! Haha. I have already decided what I will do differently next month. I'm not gonna try to do it all the same day. I'm going to have to break things up. I mean, in the summer I will have time to do 2 hour workouts, but not so much during the school year. There is just more going on. I want to be able to scale it down to an hour, so I can do it all in the morning and still have time to get me and the boys ready for school.

Which starts 2 weeks from today! Geesh. That summer break went fast. I thoroughly enjoyed not doing a whole lot at all! And now I have the next two weeks to get my behind in gear and get stuff done. Oh the life of a procrastinator ;)

Oh...so I did a 45 second plank today! I'm quite shocked that I'm doing this. Now granted my butt is probably too high in the air still, but I feel like my back is pretty straight? So yeah. I'm still working on that. But I'm doing it! That's halfway to the 90 seconds that it wants you to do after 30 days. So I'm feeling pretty good about being able to do 45 seconds. Even if I'm doing it "wrong" ;)

It's a non scale vicotry kind of day :0)

Wednesday weigh in week 85

Well my computer wasn't working at the time so I decided to use my phone. Needless to say this post is going to be pretty short ;-)

I have done one week of my August workout challenge. 

Yeah. 

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die. 

Either that or I might lose 10 or 15 pounds this month lol!

I think I will go for the latter. That's the goal anyway. I mean whose bright idea was it to do 200 squats all the time? 

Oh yeah. That would be me. 

Everything else seems to be going great. I'm still a little concerned that I might be doing the crunches wrong. But I have completely surprised myself with the fact that as of this morning I can do a 30 second plank. Oh. My. Goodness. That's huge! I mean who do I think I am? Hahaha. I have to repeat it tomorrow so I will see how it goes. I barely made it to 30 seconds this morning. But I knew even if I couldn't get to 90 seconds like the goal is, that I will go for as long as possible each day. 

So. I have been sweating like crazy and making sure I get my workouts in. Week one is done and now and I am on to week two. 

I found a little program that I can watermark my pictures. I got a little weirded out by a comment on a picture once and haven't posted a lot. So I might be silly copyrighting my picture but there you go. 

So this is the August workout. From Hell. Haha. That I created for myself! 

Wednesday Weigh in Week 84

Wednesday just seems to sneak up on me, but here we are again.

I'm feeling pretty good about finishing my squat challenge yesterday. And then I got a bill paid off on top of that. So it was a pretty dang good day yesterday. I even was noticing some changes in my body yesterday. In the squatting area. Haha. That's the best way that I can explain it I guess. But needless to say it's encouraging to me. Even though it took a month of squats to do it. Haha. But I will be continuing on with the squats. And then some, so I will be excited to see what the end of August is going on with my body without stepping on the scale. :)

My sister and I went mall walking last night. Haha..I have discovered why I'm not a big fan of going to the mall. I'm always trying to walk around people, they tend to walk so slow. Of course I'm not there to shop. I'm there to walk. So trying to walk around people and keep up with my sister who has longer legs than me was interesting. Of course I was only there because that's where she wanted to walk. I'm totally ok with walking outside. But at any rate we went walking for about 45 minutes and I was a little irritated that I didn't bring my water, because I was feeling it.

I'm going to need to figure out my workouts for August, because realistically I don't think that I can get the whole workout done at one time with my schedule. So I might have to break up the cardio and strength stuff just due to my time. So I will just have to try it out and see I guess.

But I am encouraged where the squat challenge took me. It took me all month to notice the change so I guess I will see what August brings.

Can't believe it's the last day of July! The year is halfway over already! How come everything seems to fly so fast?

Wednesday weigh in Week 81/30 day squat challenge week 2

Wow, I think I almost fell off the face of the earth ;)

Wednesday was super busy and I just ended up not being able to post, as well as thursday and friday, and well you get the point ;)

Still not up to par with my food. But not necessarily completely over doing it? I still don't "feel" like I look like I have lost weight however. Which is a little discouraging. But I really just need to really get into gear besides the challenge and get some workouts done.

That being said!! I finished week 2 of the 30 day squat challenge. Wow. Today I did 125 squats. And yes by the end of them, I was not squatting down all the way! Haha. But so far my legs feel good. I'm really attributing this to the yoga stretches I do afterwards. There are days that my knee feels swollen from what I am doing, but after those first 3 days of doing the squats I have yet to be sore. Which I'm surely pleased about! I mean let's be honest. Who wants to be sore after a workout? Haha

The challenge this week is going to be getting my squats in while I'm on vacation. Yes. The Beach is calling my name. Along with 20 other members of my family ;) In one house. I mean let's just all be crazy together! You agree? Sweet! We are going to be there for 4 nights. So I have 2-3 days of doing my squats while I am there. I will have one rest day. And I will probably do the one at home when we get home that last day. So really I guess that only leaves 2 days. Which I'm sure is do able. I mean what's doing 140 and 150 squats in front of your family like? Now I just have to figure out if I want to actually take my yoga mat down there, or just do my stretches on the floor ;)

But for now, my happy place is calling my name. I know because I've already started packing. And that my dear friends is a miracle in and of itself!

Wednesday Weigh in week 75

75 weeks. That's all it took for me to gain all my weight back. grr. Yep. The weigh in that didn't happen last week was just a sign of what was to come this morning. But who am I kidding. With the move and not having time to make my lunches, combined with eating out EVERY day this month. I'm pretty sure I did. Sodium up the roof? And oh ya know two coffees a day. I'm not surprised at this gain at all. My survival mode kicked in and it wasn't nice. I'm really looking forward to summer where I can stay home and make lunches and no eat at DQ every day. I mean. I'm getting pretty sick of ice cream right now. And that right there folks is an amazing statement for me to say.

I could throw the towel in. I could delete my blog, and just convince myself that I will always be fat and things won't change and live my life this way, hating myself for the weight and just being miserable.

But I have always believed that by finishing what I start with my weight loss that it will transpire over into every area of my life. Even by moving, I am just downsizing so so much. I told my aunt the other day that if it doesn't have a significant meaning in my life and its not on display somewhere in my house then I am not keeping it. I mean obviously there are just some things that I have to keep for taxes, but a lot of stuff I just don't need. Along with getting my weight under control this summer, I am going to be organizing and downsizing more stuff. I have gotten good about getting rid of things, but for some reason I hang on to paper items forever. And that's my goal in the 11 weeks that I am off, is going through tubs of things that I don't want to be holding onto, and high kicking my butt back to where it should be. I know I should be happy now but I am not. I can't be. I won't ever be happy knowing that I am still almost 130 pounds overweight.

That's my vent. I know I won't be putting it off forever, and even if I can just find one thing to change by next week, I would be doing better. I've got two more weeks to get everything out of the other house. And then I get to actually enjoy my new house instead of trying to cram as much in as possible ;)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 67

Wow. 67 weeks. I feel like I have been doing a really great job maintaining...a place where I don't want to be. Haha. But. I plow on. Because I never know when the day that the A-ha moment will happen and it will click and fall into place. I don't think it was today, but yesterday was a beginning. :)

I finally met up with a friend and had her show me how she thinks I should be doing that two week plan that I mentioned the other day. Because in all honesty having someone else watch your form really helps you figure out how to do it. Plus I knew that I was doing some of them wrong, and that's probably what helped me hurt my back a couple of weeks ago. So basically. I round my back instead of keeping it straight. And I need to draw my shoulders back :) And there were a couple exercises we modified due to my knee. But I will get that thing strengthened darn it and get over my fear of hurting it again while doing squats or lunges. But a lot of that comes with losing weight so I don't have as much pressure on it :( See it all works together.

And I was using 5 to 10 pound weights at her house and let me tell you. I am sore today! But in a good way! I spent part of today looking around for 5 pound weights. I have 2, 3, and 10 pounds. And I think right now I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and use the 10's. I might have to not do as many reps, but I will build up to it :) I might hit up Goodwill tomorrow and see if they have any, but I'm probably not going to look much farther than that. If I can only do 3 with good form, than I'm only going to do 3, but that's 3 more than I have been doing.

I got my (second) pair of shoes for the wedding that I'm going to, and I think these ones might work! They pull a little bit when I walk but I don't think I'm going to be doing too much walking in them. And I might have to see about trying to get them to stay on my ankle more. But they fit. And they will look cute with the dress! This whole formal thing got me this time. This is a pretty nice outfit LOL!.

Back troubles...

And 4 days into to my two week workout challenge....

I am sitting here with an ice pack on my back. This morning as I leaned in to get something out of the freezer and tried to stand up. Well I couldn't stand up. My back locked up and has been in pain since. I can't sit, I can hobble at most, and I can stand but it's uncomfortable. I hate how this seems to happen when I get serious about working out. I'm wondering if it's BECAUSE of some of the strength training workouts that I have just started doing. Maybe I'm doing them wrong? Or maybe it was the 38 "squats" I did in a minute yesterday at a work training that we were pretending to be like kids and see how long a minute was? We were sitting down and standing up from our chairs. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that was a squat. At any rate. I'm injured. 3 workouts and 4 days into my plan.

This wasn't my plan.I was telling my co-worker the whole list of things that I had to do today. the bank, the store, the post office, and the ups store. Not to mention the things I have to do the rest of the weekend.

Rest just wasn't in my plan. But maybe that's God's funny little way of telling me it is in my plans. I guess some of the other things will have to wait. Someone else might have to go after the bread. The ups and post office will have to wait until Monday. Unless I'm feeling amazingly better tomorrow.

Maybe it's time for that book...maybe it's time for that sermon...maybe it's time to rest...

Wednesday weigh in week 65

It's funny how a week goes by so so quicky! Happy first day of spring :0)

I've done two days of my two week little workout thing and let me tell you. Whatever 5 strength training things I did yesterday made me sore :0) So that was a good thing! Lol..but its Wednesday and I came home from work late and I have somewhere to be and already am trying to talk myself out of working out. Haha..So I think I am going to leave worship practice a little early so I can come home and get it done. And take a benadryl and go to bed. The wind is driving me absolutely crazy. And it made my ear hurt today. So yeah. Workouts are getting done, food choices could be better. But that lovely time of the month is approaching. ;)

So here I was thinking I had lost weight this week when in reality I gained it. See Sentence above previous sentence ;) But I have lost about half a pound since Monday when I started "being good" again. So THAT's good! But I hadn't realized I had actually gained almost two pounds until I looked at my weight from last week. Oh well. It just fluctuates so much it's crazy. But I am looking forward to jumpstarting getting back working out. And I haven't had dairy for the last 3 days so that's an improvement. I have been eating bread simply because I don't really know what else to have for breakfast right now. But for the most part I have backed off. And I haven't had coffee since Sunday! Oh boy. I'm gonna be breaking out the Excederine tomorrow I think! I do have a slight headache right now. But that could be due to a lot of things.

Ugh. The wind! Welcome to spring in the Tri-Cities!

Two weeks

Oh boy, I tell you what! Nothing screams extra motivation like realizing that the wedding you are going to next month is um, FORMAL! So that means I have 6 weeks. 6 weeks to lose weight before the wedding. I mean, I'm really glad I figured this out now so I have a better idea of what to wear, it just makes the entire process a little harder now trying to find a formal outfit and shoes.

Shoes. hate. me.

Literally.

I have super wide feet. I have to buy EE shoes. Do you know how hard it is to find those that actually look good on your feet? Oh and that don't cost a fortune? So I got on Zappos and found this super cute pair of shoes, and they were EE so I bought them on Saturday. I have no idea how but they got here today and they look HORRIBLE on my feet. Too long in the front but too tight on the side and squished my toes up where there would just be no way I could walk in them. Plus they looked so bad. I knew it the minute I tried them on. Luckily zappos has amazing customer service and I will be able to send them back free and try to get some new ones ordered. Thanks Zappos.

But the whole wedding thing led me to actually start this two week workout thing I found on Pinterest. It's basically 30 minutes of walking a day with 5 strength training moves. And some super lucky people lost up to 12 pounds and 22 inches doing this with a 1600 calorie a day diet. Now I haven't actually tried to count calories in a while. With not being able to eat all the foods that I am allergic to it kind of became why bother. I didn't want to know how little calories I was eating. So I don't think that's really a problem. But I should start to try to track again just so I know, but it's just complicated.

So at any rate I did my first day of the 2 week workout tonight. I finally got started right at 7:00. I procrastinated long enough. It took me right about 45 minutes and then I did my 20 minute stretching yoga video afterwards. I am really anxious to see what it does! I had mom measure me and I weighed myself this morning, so we will see what the next two weeks brings. I'm sure it will be full of me doing these workouts the wrong way. But they way I see it, if I'm doing something it's better than nothing at all right? Looking at a sheet of paper and trying to do the workout is so hard for me. I'm sure I got part of the movements right..but the other ones I might just be doomed with.

But it's a start.

I can tell you one of the things I absolutely want most with my weight loss is for my feet to shrink. I want me feet to be back at a normal size. I long and pray for the day when I don't have to buy my shoes online and pray they fit. I long to be able to walk into a store and try a pair of shoes on. Even if they were a normal "wide" width, I think I would be happy. They at least carry those in the store. I mean I can go buy running shoes from the runner's store, but I would love to be able to go try a pair of shoes on and have them fit! That is definitely one of my huge weight loss goals.

But for now...me and zappos are friends ;0)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 63

I'm pretty sure I was super duper hormonal last week. Although this week isn't all too much different. But I at least didn't gain this week :0) So that's a plus I suppose. Not that I really did anything different except start taking vitamins again.

I had a slight bit of a mental breakdown this week. The button popped off my jeans again yesterday. I'm thinking I just need to stay away from this brand of jeans. Seeing as the button didn't really stay on well in the first place. But after crimping it on, and having it fall off again, my mom just sewed an entire new button on right next to it and I was just using that. Well THAT button came off yesterday. Oh you know. At school on my break at work. So I had to come home on my lunch break to change my pants. Well that did it for me. I was just plenty irritated. So I went to the store last night. And of course I ended up buying a size BIGGER. Which at that point I wasn't too concerned about. And I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing? But I was tired of the mental breakdowns I was having in the closest not having pants to wear. And if they are bigger right now they are bigger. I will get a belt and wear them until I am in a smaller size. And I bought two pairs because I really only had two pairs of pants that fit. And then I was down to one. So now I have three. Hopefully I won't be freaking out in the closet. I also bought two shirts. That was another cause of stress right there. So no more closet freakouts for a bit. I should be ok.

One of my main goals right now is to start up the vitamins again. Well that and getting my water in. I've just been in more of a funk again lately, which just shows me that I need to be getting my vitamin levels up. No more funks. I'm looking at getting some counseling soon. Or mentoring or coaching. Something. I can't be doing this alone anymore....

Down about a pound...whew :0)