Wednesday Weigh in Week 21

Yep. Survival Mode still. Well that and I'm a girl. And that's all I'm going to say about that. I am currently sitting in my pajama's fighting the urge to go and buy ice cream. My mind is telling me that it really needs a blizzard. My stomach isn't completely full. I was thinking about eating a piece of pizza in a little bit. That might help with this ice cream problem.

What I really need to do is get back to my gluten free diet. For the last couple of days I have this spot in my mouth that I am pretty sure is candida related. And I could probably get rid of it by going back to GF. My life is quite stressful at the moment. So I am just coping by using food. Sometimes I wish I was the other way around. Coping by not eating. But then again I want to be healthy. Or at least coping by working out. I still haven't figured out how to be home to take care of family and work out. I literally want to go to bed the second I know the boys are asleep because I am just so tired. Let's be real here. Getting up by 5:30 to take care of dog/Mom/boys, get me ready for work, work 7 hours, cook dinner, do baths, read stories, put boys to bed, clean the kitchen and try to keep my eyes open until 9 doesn't somehow include exercise. But it does include stuffing my face. Sometimes stuffing it to stay awake. Last night I crawled into bed at 8 hoping to get some much needed sleep. Yeah. I felt like I woke up every hour. Or to say the least felt like I rolled over a million times. It's 7 now and I am ready to crawl back into bed. Sometimes the dishes are just gonna stay dirty.

And I know it's bad to think that I'm really not all that concerned that my weight is going up and down right now. I think partly it's due to not wanting to beat myself up for not being on track to my goal. But circumstantially right now, I don't feel like I am doing all that bad. I haven't gained it all back. I'm at least being honest with myself. I'm under a 10 pound gain. I really just need to get through the next 3 weeks and then I will be able to get back to being really serious. Or that's what I keep telling myself in my head.