Wednesday Weigh in week 75

75 weeks. That's all it took for me to gain all my weight back. grr. Yep. The weigh in that didn't happen last week was just a sign of what was to come this morning. But who am I kidding. With the move and not having time to make my lunches, combined with eating out EVERY day this month. I'm pretty sure I did. Sodium up the roof? And oh ya know two coffees a day. I'm not surprised at this gain at all. My survival mode kicked in and it wasn't nice. I'm really looking forward to summer where I can stay home and make lunches and no eat at DQ every day. I mean. I'm getting pretty sick of ice cream right now. And that right there folks is an amazing statement for me to say.

I could throw the towel in. I could delete my blog, and just convince myself that I will always be fat and things won't change and live my life this way, hating myself for the weight and just being miserable.

But I have always believed that by finishing what I start with my weight loss that it will transpire over into every area of my life. Even by moving, I am just downsizing so so much. I told my aunt the other day that if it doesn't have a significant meaning in my life and its not on display somewhere in my house then I am not keeping it. I mean obviously there are just some things that I have to keep for taxes, but a lot of stuff I just don't need. Along with getting my weight under control this summer, I am going to be organizing and downsizing more stuff. I have gotten good about getting rid of things, but for some reason I hang on to paper items forever. And that's my goal in the 11 weeks that I am off, is going through tubs of things that I don't want to be holding onto, and high kicking my butt back to where it should be. I know I should be happy now but I am not. I can't be. I won't ever be happy knowing that I am still almost 130 pounds overweight.

That's my vent. I know I won't be putting it off forever, and even if I can just find one thing to change by next week, I would be doing better. I've got two more weeks to get everything out of the other house. And then I get to actually enjoy my new house instead of trying to cram as much in as possible ;)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 73

I'm just going to assume right now that my computer won't upload my picture like the last two weeks and just tell you what my weight was. I'm in complete and utter I don't care moments right now. I'm still going back and forth between two houses trying to box up yard sale stuff that didn't sell and get the rest of what we think we want to keep to the new house. I think quite literally for the last two weeks I have eaten out every day for lunch simply because I didn't have time to make lunches during the weekend. I am so extremely sick of fast food right now it's not even funny! Yet I have another super crazy weekend and I don't know if I will have the time or the energy to do it this weekend for the 3 days that I need a lunch next week. I already know one of the days we are going to lunch because we don't have kids that day. School is almost out. We have 8 days left with our kids. It's crazy to think that but we do. Well 9 days I guess. But tomorrow shouldn't count LOL!

239.4. I am exactly 1 pound away from where I started this blog in 2011. Ouch. And still I am in survival mode. I haven't switched out yet, and I'm not sure that I will before school gets out. I know this summer is going to be all about refocusing and getting myself back on track.

So I'm just hoping for the next 3 weeks that I can keep it under 240. That's the goal for right now anyway.

Wednesday Weigh in Week 72

Oh. my. gosh. So I moved houses on Saturday (same area, different house) and we discovered when we went to turn the A/C on that it in fact did NOT turn on. So we have naturally been in a heat wave, I'm talking 90-95 degrees this week. Today I saw the thermostat reach 89 in my house. The landlady has had 2 people come out to give her quotes to tell her it is in fact dead Jim. :0) So I'm so hoping we get a new one by this weekend. It's supposed to be 97 on Saturday. oh. my gosh. Heat is not my friend. The poor boys have had such a hard time falling asleep. Tonight I put them to bed with an ice pack under their pillow cases. And the one on the top bunk is on the floor.

end rant.

So let's see if the picture posts this time, I'm at the same weight I was last week. Still high. But ok for now. I will be for sure figuring out how to start losing weight again. My knee is bothering me so badly right now. I know part of it is because of the weight. :( I wasn't supposed to gain all my weight back :(

The rest of this month is going to be crazy. We have to have a yard sale this weekend, and still get everything moved out of the house by the next weekend. So the weekend after that we can take a train to Portland to have some fun :0) And then the week after that school will be out and I will be in full force summer! Woo-hoo! I can't wait!

Nope. no picture. I wonder if I can edit it from my phone and add it. We will see.

Wednesday weigh in week 70

Well now that we have officially been telling people, I suppose the cat's out of the bag. We are moving houses. This has caused a lot of stress over the last year, and frankly has been the cause of a lot of my overeating. But it's one of those things that you don't really want to talk about you know? I'm not entirely too happy to be moving out of this house after 23 years into a much smaller house. But it has to be done. So we are in the (horrible) process of going through an entire house and deciding what can be kept and what can't. Oh and we have about 2-3 weeks to do all this. Oy. Vey. And throw a yard sale in there somehow.

At this point I am just trying to maintain all the weight I have gained back. Funny thing to say huh? I am only 4 pounds away from what I was when I started this blog. That doesn't excite me very much. But I know that it's just a season. That I will get back into a more motivated mode. Right now it's all I can do to work and try to pack and sleep. Except I have had things to do every night this week because I am leaving tomorrow for a wedding 4 hours away. Bad timing to take a trip for sure. But as of right now I have everything packed except toiletries. So I feel like I'm doing good sort of LOL!

So right now my life is full of boxes and clutter and busyness. Not really where I wanted to be right before the end of school, but it's where I am at. Hoping to stay on track.

Wednesday weigh in week 56

Well that was two short lived weeks :( I lapsed this weekend. I guess you could say it was a "yeah, I will eat the stuff I said I wasn't going to". Mainly dairy. I had some mozzarella sticks and ranch. Plus I pretty much haven't exercised in a week again. And Wham! On goes almost 4 pounds. Really? Dairy will up my weight that fast? It's kinda crazy to think that. I mean that would mean I would literally have to avoid ALL of it. And we use so much in our cooking it's just crazy. Sour cream, cheese, milk, cream cheese. It all makes excellent additives to the food we eat. So now trying to avoid it is just downright awful. Not going to lie. It really kinda sucks. So here we are 3 weeks into the new year now, and I'm a little disappointed. Disappointed that I didn't say no to the cheese when I should have, and disappointed that I didn't make the time to workout. If it wasn't so goshdang cold!! I have come to realize that as much as I want to think that I can go run on the treadmill over at my grandma's house, I can't. It hurts me more I think running on the treadmill then it does running outside. My knees and my back were almost instantly hurting on the treadmill, still, once I figured out the incline. So maybe I was just made to run outside? But running in feels like 9 degree weather? Oy vey. I'm gonna have to get really disciplined for that one...

Wednesday weigh in week 51

Woah. I can't believe that I have been doing this for almost an entire year! And I can't believe I have gained all about about 10 pounds of my weight back. This definitely wasn't how the story played out in my head in January when I was serious and started all of this. This was going to be my year, and I was finally going to do it! Flash forward to December. My mom has had surgery 3 times this year, and I have had 3 deaths in the family since October. Less than 2 months. Um yeah. I have learned this year that I definitely live by circumstances. I have periods of doing great. Especially when I have a goal! And then life throws me a curve ball, and well, Dairy Queen becomes my new BFF. The most I lost this year was 25 pounds. So 15 has crept back on. And boy can I feel it!

And I know the things I need to do. I need to quit drinking coffee. I need to quit eating dairy. I need to quit eating wheat. I know how my body feels when I don't have these things in me. Especially when I am allergic to them. It's just so. dang. hard. To all of the sudden throw out a food you have eaten your entire life. And the staples of your diet. I mean. I tell people all of the things I am allergic to and they ask me what the heck I eat. Um yeah. Not a whole lot. And then I sneak in the foods that I shouldn't be eating. And don't even get me started on exercise. Here's the thing. When I work out. I lose weight. When I don't work out? I don't lose weight. Plain and simple. Cut and dry. Well yeah. If I could just manage to stay away from all the foods that I'm allergic to, and work out 6 times a week, I would probably have it made :)

Oh speaking of running, since I really wasn't ;) I finally just jumped ahead again to week 8 of the Couch to 5k and ran for half an hour today. Well I really didn't jump ahead because it was the week I was scheduled to do it. But I haven't ran at all in the last 2 weeks. The last day I did was week 6 day 1. And today I decided since it wasn't raining, and I really needed to get back to my running, I would just go for it. And I am such a fashion crisis when I run. It's kinda just ridiculous. Blue ear warmers, red and green shirts, black pants and black gloves. Oh and a white passport belt around my waist because that's my poor girl's running belt. (I mean, I actually thought it was genius! I had a belt, and it will hold my key, phone, and other little things. And then it wasn't all in my pockets, which my capris didn't have).

But I did my 30 minute run. And the craziest thing came out of my mouth when I was done. "Well that was kinda easy!" uh yeah. Well the first mile was 19:09 and the second mile was 19:03. I apparently did really good on my breathing because I wasn't out of breath, and completely wheezing or anything like that. Either that or I just plan didn't work hard enough. But I did realize that when I run my virtual 5k for Katie's 31st birthday next month that I will have to pick up a little speed. I'm thinking I was stupid when I said I wanted to finish it in under 48 minutes I think. I'm pretty sure I forgot I was back up to a 19 minute mile and not an 17 minute one. Hmmm...How am I going to do it that fast? If I go the pace I ran today it will still take me almost an hour to run 3.1 miles.I definitely need to drop some pounds so my time will speed up :0)

I was expecting to be panting when I started my 5 minutes of cooling down..but nope. I was fine. I miss running. Of course we are getting into the cold part of winter. I don't have a treadmill. I can't afford a gym. So I am just heading outside. OH and my knee didn't hurt while I was running! That was nice. When I started my little training plan it kept twinging while I was running, and it didn't do that today. I was a happy girl.

Ok, I could just blab blab blab..so I am going to get my lunch ready for work tomorrow and head to bed. But here is my picture. of my gain. Next week will be different.

Wednesday Weigh in Week 45

Boy am I ever ready to put October behind me! Here's to November. Hoping for better results! Being sick wasn't too kind to me last week. I did manage to do all my workouts for my Bloomsday training, but I hit a wall on Monday. I came home slightly feverish, did my cross-training workout on the bike. I mean I didn't try to go too hard because I knew I wasn't feeling good. I went about 12 mph on there for half an hour. But right before bed my head started hurting, and when I woke up on Tuesday it was still hurting! So needless to say I made the decision to go to work AND not work out on Tuesday due a huge headache and way too much caffeine :( I really went back and forth on it. Because I knew if I missed just ONE workout that I would just want to quit and give up. I mean yeah. I worked all day today and then came home and went trick or treating with the boys. And you better bet I dang well counted that for my cross training tonight! I am stiff and sore LOL! But I will be back at it tomorrow. I haven't decided if I'm gonna try to do my week two runs 3 days in a row or just bag the first run. I'm pretty early into it, so I think it will be ok.

My brother's costumes were a big hit this year :) My engineer of a sister made them into Lego's. Think Indiana Jones and a robot Lego :) Everyone loved them and complimented them on them. :) They were much better than all the scary costumes I kept seeing. I have to say Halloween is my LEAST favorite holiday. I don't quite like the idea of sugaring up children like that, or necessarily agree with the Holiday.  I know I'm gonna have a bunch of cranky pre-schoolers tomorrow that's for sure. I just wish it were Friday already haha! But I guess tomorrow is close enough :) My pre-schoolers don't come on Friday, so we like to think of Thursday's as Friday in my class :0)

Sometimes I feel like it's hard having goals in weight loss because I never feel like I accomplish them. So I didn't lose two pounds this week :( So does that mean I'm not going to get to 199 by the end of the year? I don't know? It's just so hard to focus and be so determined during the holidays. I feel like Halloween kicks that off and now it's like downhill to the end of the year! I mean I have 8 weeks. At that point I will have to lose 3 pounds a week to meet that goal. It just doesn't feel attainable :( But I keep going. Even if I get back down to 210 or 205 even that's still a 35 pound loss for the year. And that's still a good thing :0)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 42

Meh. I am in total survival mode at this point. I have thankfully quit shoving everything in sight into my mouth. This is helped by the fact that I am broke LOL! No money means no buying crap to shove into your body! No money however also leads to no buying good food for your body. Drat that double-edged sword.

I took today and tomorrow off. Needed some alone time before Saturday. I was a little surprised that my work actually allows 5 days for bereavement leave. I have actually taken 3. Don't think I will end up using the other two, since it was so crazy broken up LOL. But I'm pretty sure I can go to work with no kids and work for 3 hours on friday ;)

We are back to our crazy bi-polar weather :0) Cold in the morning (I keep having to defrost my car!!)and warm in the afternoon. (I'm getting rid of the coat!!) Must mean it's fall!

Tomorrow I have to get some more shopping done before my co-worker's bridal shower in the morning. And I really have got to get this zucchini bread made that I have had zucchini's for for the last 3 weeks. Geesh! I am getting behind in my baking. I have apples that are waiting to be made into applesauce too. That is if my brother's don't quit eating them! Haha.

Wednesday Weigh in Week 39

Back in the yo-yo again. 2.2 pound gain this week. I obviously have no shame. I still come on every Wednesday to post my gain when it should be a loss. That's not motivating me enough now is it. Right now it kind of feels like I'm just pretending at this game. I'm really sitting on the sidelines waiting for a turn to get put back in. The hardest part is starting over. Again and again.

Yo-yo up...yo-yo down...

Let's just have a moment of silence for...

My peanut butter.

Oh geez.

So I got my allergy test results today, and let's just say I'm screwed a little shocked! I found out that I am severely allergic to peanuts, eggs, and garlic. And moderately allergic to milk and cottage cheese.

Um hello. These are things I eat on an almost daily basis. How can I have gone this far in life and not have reactions or whatever? It means yet again another revamping of my diet. Which needed to happen, but I really wasn't expecting to be allergic to these things at all. Well ok. Truth be told, I've been slowly figuring out the peanut allergy. I knew that if I went past a certain level of peanut butter that my throat would start to close up. That one kind of makes sense.

So gone is peanut butter, milk, ice cream, frozen yogurt, cottage cheese, scrambled eggs, omelets, garlic bread. And other things that I'm not thinking of at 11 at night.

I mean I had a really great talk with Dr. Ginger. I love her. She spent an hour and a half with me, and would have talked with me more if she hadn't had another patient waiting for her. She didn't try to brush me off and answered all my questions. I just left going. Ok. Whereto from here. How do I once again, eliminate all these foods that I love? It's kinda funny that the things that I need to eliminate are the ones that I did earlier in the year when I was doing gluten free, sugar, free, yeast free, and dairy free. I have to admit, the eggs really surprised me. And the garlic.

We also talked a little bit about eating for your blood type. I'm pretty sure that my blood type is O. I mean I haven't checked and I don't really know how to, but that's what I seem to remember hearing a long time ago. This made total sense to me. O blood type people are supposed to avoid wheat. Which gave me the total Aha moment that I needed. I knew that gluten or wheat or bread or whatever you want to call it never sat well with me. It's no wonder that I felt so much greater when I wasn't eating it. It reacts to my blood weirdly. I'm not allergic to it. But I shouldn't be eating it either. So that's another thing still staying off the list. Now other grains I can have. Just not the wheat.

So that's where I am at. And in about 12 hours I will just be coming too from having my wisdom teeth taken out. Apparently this is the year that I will be taking care of more body issues than I thought. From teeth to allergies, I guess I really am finishing what I start.

Whether it was in the original plan or not :0)

Wednesday Weigh in Week 29

So. It appears that my weight keeps going the wrong direction. Isn't it supposed to go the other way? I mean I have many reasons that I can blame this on, and they could probably be all legitimate. I really have been slacking on my water intake. Which is probably really affecting me. I probably have had less than 3 cups a day for the past week or so. Which isn't the greatest in 100 degree + weather. Blah. And seeing that it's been that hot I haven't even bothered to exercise. I really need to get back into a morning routine of just doing what I can in the house. By the time the afternoon and evening comes around I'm too tired/busy to actually get a workout in. Plus I am not going running in 100 degrees. It's around 11 at night right now and it's a good 80 degrees. I would actually love to go on a run. But I don't go running after dark.

So my appointment is tomorrow to figure out if I have any food allergies. I already got a phone call from them telling me that my gluten and candida tests both came back negative. In a weird way I was slightly disappointed. I mean I honestly know I feel better when I am not eating the gluten. But then since I've found out I'm not allergic to it, all I have eaten is gluten since it's been "off limits". I almost wished it would have been positive so I would have had a "reason" to not have it. I have such an irritating way of being all or nothing. And it shows both positively and negatively. So here's to finding out tomorrow if there is anything I am allergic to and what I get to do about it. :0)

We are on our 4th day of 100+ heat. And it isn't supposed to be under 100 till Friday. It feels like our summer came! I don't even remember having this many days over 100 last summer, let alone 4 days in a row. At least it's a nice dry heat and I don't feel so stuffy. We did have this amazing lightning storm the other day. I love to sit and watch those. I personally feel like it was better then the 4th of July show we had at my house ;)

Shocker

oh geez. I was reading an article about the fattest cities in America and low and behold. Number 9 just happens to be right smack dab where I live. Lovely thought isn't it? Yeah. Slightly irritating. I'm changing me however. Still obese, yes, but on the downhill slope of it...

Here is the link to the article if you want to read it. Is the city you live in one of the fattest cities in America?

Wednesday Weigh in week 14

Irritated today. Irritated that for the whole month of March I gained .4 pounds.  Irritated that I have to be all or nothing.

Needless to say it's been an irritating week for me. I made choices to eat things I should be this month and it shows on the scale. And that the scale can say 217.6 for two days up to Wednesday and then it jumps back up on Wednesday. But hey mini binges the day before weigh in will do that to you.

I think I am ready to put March behind me. And ignore the fact that I feel like I am 10 pounds behind my goal. This just proves that I have to be more deliberate in my food choices. And figure out how to get a workout in on weeks like this week when I haven't been able to get out and go run in almost a week.

I am ready for spring break next week. I am ready for some time away from my preschoolers and seriously get some spring cleaning done in my life. I am in purge mode in my life, and that part has nothing to do with food. I am cleaning out and getting rid of stuff like it's no ones business. I think I cleaned out almost 1/3 of my filing cabinet last night of things that I no longer need. And once that gets done I am gonna be in tip top shape :)

Is it June yet ;)

Wednesday Weigh In week 8

All right. Now I am irritated. I know why people say not to judge the scale for your weight loss. And to use other things like measurements and how your clothes feel and all that stuff. But what bugs me is how two days ago I can weigh 223 and then on my official weigh in day this number pops up.

.08 pounds. again. What the heck? How did I magically gain two pounds in two days. I surely did not eat 7,000 calories. It is true how everything around you reflects on the scale. I haven't been getting enough sleep, I haven't been taking my vitamins, haven't been getting my water all the way in. And probably have had a higher salt intake. But for real. It would be an interesting experiment one month to take a picture every day just to see the results of how your body holds on to or lets go of weight. Because I surely don't complain when my body drops two pounds overnight. But C'mon! work with me a little on the official weigh in day body! geez!

I have to remember to start stretching my upper back more after my runs. My legs have been pretty much fine. I stretch them out pretty good, but right between my shoulder blades has been bothering me for a little over a week now. Any good suggestions?